I remember being in Bible college and asking God to reveal His will for my life. Somehow I thought there was a single answer that would come in a booming voice, and it would set the course of my life for smooth sailing. It never occurred to me that I would need to seek God’s will for the rest of my life about many decisions, large and small.

Some people aren’t big believers in seeking God for decisions. They maintain that they can determine many decisions by applying His Word, which is true. Others swing the opposite direction, wanting the “will of God” for what to eat at dinner.

I guess I’m in the middle. Some decisions aren’t a right or wrong, and Scripture isn’t clear on what to do. Which daycare center should I place my child in? Should we keep this vehicle or sell it? Does this restlessness mean it’s time to move on, or just to stay faithful?

The will of God is not defined in a single moment; it is a growing knowing. The more we know God, the more we understand how He thinks. Like a child who is close to her father, I want to know what my Father God thinks. So I ask for His direction on things other people might not consider.

Over the years, my husband, Wayne, and I have developed a simple three-legged-stool approach for decision making in our family. We’ve applied it to everything from moving across the country to coaching soccer.

Anything that is a commitment of time for our family has to pass the three-legged-stool test. It’s practical and spiritual, and more than anything, it has helped us say “no” when needed.

1. Is God leading our family to do this? That may seem like a high bar, but really, does this commitment fit in the scope of our calling? For example, being in relationship with people who don’t consider themselves Christ-followers is a high priority for our family, and part of our calling. Playing a big part in restoring Louisiana wetlands, while important, is not necessarily our calling.

The more we know God, the more we understand how He thinks.

2. Is this the best thing for our family? Does it bring us closer together? Does it help our children understand what matters to us? Do they feel cared for and loved through this decision, or are we asking questions they will never ask?

3. Does it work logistically? Sometimes I’m surprised at how little attention people pay to this one. Logistics matter, and it makes life easier when we take the time to figure out how to simplify. Sometimes people don’t make logistical changes because of money, but poor logistics can cost more than they realize.

Generally, if two out of the three are a “yes,” we go ahead with it. But if only one out of the three is a yes, or none out of the three, then we know the answer: It’s a no.

A few years ago, when I was working full-time outside the church, I accepted an offer for a new position that would eventually lead to much better pay. It was 45 minutes in the opposite direction, over an hour from my daughter’s school one way. After two miserable months, we did what we should have done before I took the job: We looked at the three-legged stool.

While I was working because we needed the financial benefits, making huge amounts of money wasn’t part of my calling. It was definitely not the best thing for our young family, since it took me away for several more hours each day. The logistics were pretty much a nightmare. So even though it bruised my pride, I left that job, and I never regretted it.

This year, we faced a difficult decision when the school our kids attended closed, but spots were open for them at another campus. While logistically it was tough because the other campus is a 90-minute trip, we decided to make the change.

We felt that God had opened a door of friendship and influence with the parents and administration, and the philosophy of the school fit our lifestyle. We also believed it was the best thing for our kids, because it’s not only one of the best schools in the area, but they would still have friends and teachers they knew.

So that meant we had to bring the logistics in line with the other two values. With careful planning, we were able to put a combination of carpool and bus service in place, and it’s working well. Without a doubt, it was the right decision.

This model has helped us navigate complicated questions over and over again. I encourage you to boil down the most important questions for your family. It will take some of the guesswork out of problem solving, and give you a path for moving forward.