Whatever you hold with a closed fist dies. Whatever you hold with an open hand leaves — but returns alive. In other words, we must lead strategically, but love spontaneously. A great leader empowers; a poor leader controls. Building and preserving an ethos and ethic of honor and energy requires intentional intensity. Unity and team virtue will never happen through ragged individualism. They happen through the robust pursuit of legitimate servant-guided community.

Young and old alike sometimes find themselves in polarizing environments diseased by generational mistrust, a setting that feels cast in stone. Sometimes all you can do to stop the chaos in an organization is build a greenhouse and grow something new. Leadership is a complex science; it’s a social process between independent people. It requires the constant faith and courage to initiate trusting relationships with new people, which is why the cynical and suspicious never achieve enduring influence. Leadership involves hard questions and difficult choices. Every relationship, even corrective ones, must gain inspiration from redemptive optimism. For the Church to be viable, it has to stay generationally connected. The reciprocation between the proven life and the promising life is what makes the body of Christ unique.

One of the most telling passages in Scripture describing the consequences of a generational abandonment and cowardice is 1 Kings 1:5–6: “Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, ‘I will be king.’ So he got chariots and horses ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. (His father had never rebuked him by asking, ‘Why do you behave as you do?’ He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)”

When the generations divide, the fallout can be demoralizing. Here are six important behaviors that will reinforce the honor and energy dynamics of your church and/or team — behaviors the older generation needs to model and teach with reliability and clarity and the younger generation needs to observe, rehearse and assimilate.

1. Answerability. Have I followed through on my assignments? Have I let my team down in any way? Can I allow others to examine my work? Do I express negative emotions if my ideas or actions need refinement or correction? Do I completely support the critical points of our vision?

2. Planning. There is a direct connection between outcomes and your routines. Have I studied, meditated, written and researched well? Is my presentation sloppy? Am I secretly leaning on my natural gifts and past reputation alone? Am I utilizing all that is available to me to forecast and make a total impact on the people I am serving, or am I looking for others to serve me?

3. Continuity. Am I doing what I need to do, even when I don’t feel like doing it? Are my routines healthy? If people watched me 24/7 for one week, what would be their takeaway about my life? Would my actions shock or inspire others?

4. Attention to detail. Do I have the passion for swiftly fixing the little things that need correction so that I can surprise and delight those I’m leading? Do I go that extra unexpected mile? Is it clear to the people who listen to me that they are getting my best?

5. Concentration. Do I know the priorities of my own life, as well as the professional priorities of my team? Am I saying “no” to the distractions that can drain my energies? When the moment comes for me to deliver on what I am supposed to be all about, am I delivering my very best, or am I masking a half-effort? Do I come across stressed, negative and tired as a leader? Do I continually need people to cut me some slack as a way of staying on this team?

6. Dignity. Is there an emphasis by our team on professionalism, honor and respect for the offices of the New Testament Church? I cannot demand it from the people I serve, but I must demand it of myself. Am I so casual that there is no sense of holiness or divine calling in what I do? It’s not how others view the role of pastor; it’s how I view it. Do I see it as a holy calling or as a demanding, task-orientated life cycle with few moments that feel eternal or transformational?

A final encouragement to the “energy” generation: Grab every opportunity you can, even when it feels small. Trust me, living idly and pessimistically while waiting for the phone to ring with your big break is a bad strategy. Pessimism acts like gravity; it pulls you down. The only way to rise above and overcome boredom is by practicing passion. So go after small assignments to speak, communicate and write, no matter what they are. Take the stuff nobody wants, and do them for free. Do not despise small things (Zechariah 4:10). Just smile big while doing them — like you know something nobody else in the room does. If there’s even one shred of Kingdom-building opportunity tucked inside the assignment, don’t think twice. Just take it. And above all, don’t quit.

This article originally appeared in the February/March issue of Influence. For more on this subject, see "Honor and Energy."