The Roman writer Ovid told the tale of Narcissus, whose excessive self-love was his downfall.

Catching a glimpse of himself reflected in a stream, the young man became obsessed with his handsome features. Failing to recognize the reflection as his own, Narcissus felt spurned when his advances went unrequited.

Narcissus soon grew depressed, sank into the soil, and sprouted roots. A flowering plant sprang up in his place, forever admiring its blooms beside the water.

The words “narcissism” and “narcissist” derive from this myth. Narcissism can describe a clinically diagnosed personality disorder involving an inflated sense of self-importance, extreme need for admiration, and lack of empathy.

More commonly, narcissism refers simply to selfish and self-centered behavior. Most people are not narcissists in clinical terms. But because of our sin nature, we all have a propensity to fixate on ourselves in unhealthy ways.

Self-centeredness is especially destructive when it takes root in spiritual leaders. Pastors are supposed to serve as shepherds — loving, discipling, and teaching those under their care. Ministry means following the way of Jesus, the Good Shepherd who laid down His life for the sheep (John 10:11).

Yet some church leaders are more interested in admiring their own reflections than reflecting Christ’s character. They engage in narcissistic behavior that stands in stark contrast to the biblical shepherding model. Instead of feeding the sheep, they feed off the flock (Ezekiel 34:3).

There will always be some leaders who seek ministry positions for selfish reasons, abuse their authority, and hurt others. This is nothing new.

Writing from prison, the apostle Paul told believers in Phillipi, “Some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains” (Philippians 1:15–17, emphasis added).

Instead of sacrificing to advance God’s kingdom, as Paul did, narcissistic leaders strive to build their own little empires. They view ministry as an opportunity for ego gratification, public admiration, power, and control. Too often, they pursue these selfish goals with little oversight or accountability.

Ministry leaders must protect their congregations from such individuals and guard their own hearts against selfishness.

Like the Psalmist, we can seek deliverance from the arrogant and contemptuous, while asking God to keep us focused on His Word rather than selfish gain (Psalm 119:21–22,36).

Admiration and Rivalry

Even without a full-blown personality disorder, people with high levels of subclinical narcissism — “narcissists,” for the purposes of this discussion — are egotistical, attention seeking, and unempathetic, with a strong sense of entitlement. These traits cause significant relational problems.

Some researchers describe narcissistic behaviors in terms of admiration and rivalry. An insatiable need for admiration fuels a drive for self-promotion and self-enhancement.

Narcissists often 
rise to leadership positions because 
of their extraversion, attraction to power, impression-management skills, and desire to prove their superiority.

Meanwhile, any perceived threat to a narcissist’s ego triggers the rivalry response. The result is often a barrage of personal attacks.

These two sides of the narcissistic coin create a sort of Jekyll and Hyde persona. Narcissists can seem competent, charming, funny, charismatic, and dynamic. They want others to think of them as successful, attractive, intelligent, and larger than life.

Narcissists seek social admiration — and often receive it. At least initially, others may view these individuals positively.

Eventually, the darker side of narcissism emerges. Rivalry bolsters the grandiose self-view through insults, cutting remarks, and abuse. Over time, this leaves a wake of relational destruction.

In rivalry mode, narcissists behave aggressively, asserting supremacy and devaluing others. They are socially insensitive, hostile, and lack such relational traits as warmth, supportiveness, and selflessness.

These facets of admiration and rivalry are found, to varying degrees, within each narcissist. Those who become close to a narcissist may enjoy the admiration traits, but rivalry behaviors will ultimately leave them feeling small, rejected, or repulsed.

Narcissistic individuals cannot maintain admiration indefinitely. As the charm wears thin, popularity declines and relationships falter.

As Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Hiring Wisely

Because people tend to want leaders who are self-assured and charismatic, there is a real danger of choosing pastors, staff members, or ministry successors with high levels of narcissism.

When hiring a pastor or staff member, keep in mind that narcissistic candidates interview extremely well.

Those with narcissistic tendencies may come across as prototypical leaders — confident, authoritative, and dominant.

Narcissists often rise to leadership positions because of their extraversion, attraction to power, impression-management skills, and desire to prove their superiority. They use these traits to sell themselves.

Once in a position of authority, a narcissistic minister may quickly win the admiration of others. The need to appear exceptional drives performance. Reduced empathy enables decisive action, creating an aura of power.

However, those who hire a narcissist will regret that decision when rivalry traits and relational problems emerge. The grandiose image a narcissist presents is inauthentic, masking serious character deficits that eventually lead to trouble.

Actions may not match words when it comes to following through on promises. But instead of owning mistakes or admitting fault, the leader will blame others and complain about circumstances.

When things do go well, on the other hand, narcissistic leaders are eager to take credit for someone else’s work.

A lack of integrity can lead to bigger problems, such as financial mismanagement, sexual misconduct, substance abuse, exploitation of staff and congregants, and even criminality.

To avoid bringing such a leader into your church, look for signs of narcissism during pastoral search and interviewing processes.

Assess the candidate’s track record for developing others and sharing credit for success.

Ask about former places of ministry. Those with high levels of narcissism are more likely to disparage past employers. If they criticize another congregation, they will likely speak the same way about your church someday.

Notice how a candidate makes you feel. Even if someone dazzles you with articulate communication, flattery, and a successful image, don’t ignore an air of superiority or tendency to devalue others.

Interview close subordinates whenever possible. These are the people who feel the brunt of a narcissistic leader’s interpersonal deficits. If they feel safe enough to speak candidly about problems they have observed, take their remarks seriously.

An appropriate and biblical view of oneself flows from the knowledge that God made us in His image, redeemed 
us for His glory, 
and calls us to participate in His mission.

Create a culture that values teamwork and integrity above individual achievement and success at all costs. Look for character, competence, and chemistry over charisma. (Chemistry has to do with finding the right fit for your congregation’s culture and ministry vision.)

Encourage mentorship at all levels of leadership. Ask potential hires how they have invested in others.

Approach the hiring process prayerfully, seeking God for wisdom and discernment to find leaders after His heart.

In choosing David as king, God told Samuel, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

In Matthew 23, Jesus critiqued teachers of the law and Pharisees for their arrogance, hypocrisy, abusive leadership, and entitled behavior.

“Everything they do is done for people to see,” Jesus said. “They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others” (verses 5–7).

Finally, Jesus told the listening crowd, “The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted” (verses 11–12).

Look for leaders who are great at serving God and others rather than skilled at selling themselves.

Healthy Self-Esteem

To keep narcissism out of church leadership, changing hiring practices may not be enough. We also need to examine ourselves, even as we disciple others to become more like Jesus.

The contrast to narcissism is not self-loathing, but healthy self-esteem.

An appropriate and biblical view of oneself flows from the knowledge that God made us in His image, redeemed us for His glory, and calls us to participate in His mission.

The Bible proclaims that God created people in His likeness. As God’s image bearers, we have inherent worth and dignity (Genesis 1:26–27; 5:1; 9:6; James 3:9).

We also have a responsibility to reflect God’s nature, character, and righteousness (Ephesians 4:24; 1 John 3:1–3). Only by Christ’s grace and the Spirit’s transforming power can we faithfully display the divine image (2 Corinthians 3:18; Colossians 3:10).

The Cross reminds us of our value in God’s sight. Jesus paid the ultimate price to redeem and adopt us into His family (Galatians 4:4–6; Hebrews 10:10–14). Surely Jesus’ death in our place, love for us, and desire to spend eternity with us brings a sense of security, worth, and confidence.

Christ’s sacrifice was not about our goodness, but God’s mercy (Romans 5:8). Our response should be a life of gratitude, worship, and humble service. We can say with Paul, “May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world” (Galatians 6:14).

God created us with intentionality and has a plan for our lives (Psalm 139:13–16; Ephesians 2:10). We matter to God, who called us to fulfill His purposes on earth (Matthew 28:19–20; Acts 1:8; Romans 8:28; 1 Corinthians 12:27).

We live to glorify God, not promote ourselves or build personal brands (Psalm 115:1; Matthew 5:16; 1 Corinthians 10:31; 1 Peter 2:12).

Paul was quick to point this out to the Corinthians when they argued over which church leader they favored. Some claimed to follow Paul, others Apollos, and still others Peter (1 Corinthians 1:12).

Confronting this way of thinking, Paul said, “What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe — as the Lord has assigned to each his task” (1 Corinthians 3:5).

Paul went on to explain that while leaders may plant and water gospel seed, God alone brings the harvest (verses 6–8). Ministers build, but the foundation is Christ himself (verses 10–11). God will one day judge the quality of each person’s work, rewarding accordingly (verses 12–15).

With these things in mind, Paul cautions, there should be “no more boasting about human leaders” (verse 21).

Ministers with godly self-esteem don’t gauge their worth by comparing themselves to others or competing with fellow ministries. Instead, they seek daily to fulfill God’s plan for their lives, gifts, and talents. They use those abilities to serve others as an offering to God.

Jesus said, “Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).

Those who follow Christ’s example are not afraid to suffer, associate with people of low social status, or engage in menial labor. We know God made us, loves us, and sent us to do His work of serving.

Others may not celebrate us or know who we are. But even if they do, we live for an audience of One. And we look forward to hearing the Lord say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).

God-Confidence

Drawing from Jeremiah 9:24, Paul twice reminded the Corinthians, “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:31; 2 Corinthians 10:17).

Repent of manipulative behavior and prideful attitudes, asking God to help you live according 
to His Word.

When church leaders have healthy self-esteem, they are God-confident. Their assurance is in Christ, and they glorify Him rather than seeking admiration from others.

Gaining followers or growing a brand for themselves is not the focus of God-confident leaders. They understand, like John the Baptist, that Jesus must increase as their profile decreases (John 3:30).

Healthy ministers guard against self-centered paradigms that treat others as commodities to use or rivals to vanquish.

In Galatians 5, Paul named “selfish ambition” as one of the acts of the flesh (verse 20). He cautioned against becoming conceited, provoking fights, and giving space to envy (verse 26).

Instead, Paul reminded believers to serve one another humbly in love (verse 13).

“If you bite and devour each other,” Paul warned, “watch out or you will be destroyed by each other” (verse 15).

If we are to keep in step with the Spirit (verse 25), we must abandon the works of the flesh. This means letting go of selfish ways of thinking and embracing the call to love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves (verse 14).

Some may wonder whether selfish inclinations make them narcissists. Narcissism is a personality trait that exists on a spectrum of low to high, while narcissistic personality disorder is a clinical diagnosis.

People with narcissistic personality disorder or even high levels of subclinical narcissism rarely view or acknowledge their behavior as problematic.

If you recognize narcissistic tendencies in yourself, that’s a good sign. It means you have enough self-awareness to move toward change.

You’ll never make progress by making excuses or saying, “That’s just the way I am.” Instead, surrender to the Spirit’s control, inviting Him to transform you.

Repent of manipulative behavior and prideful attitudes, asking God to help you live according to His Word.

Philippians 2:3–4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Weave accountability into your ministry structure. Instead of surrounding yourself with sycophants, listen to godly advisors who are willing to challenge and call you to account.

Create an environment where people feel safe providing honest feedback. Ask staff members how you come across, and give them an opportunity to share how you might have hurt them.

Apologize for your mistakes, and take steps toward repairing relationships and interacting in healthier ways.

Find a leadership coach, life coach, or professional counselor who can walk alongside as you make difficult but positive changes. Seek mentoring from district leaders and trusted Christian friends.

Rooting out narcissism isn’t easy, but the reward is genuine confidence that comes from, glorifies, and points to God.

Narcissism pervades our culture, from social media to politics. When leaders exalt image-based performance over the Spirit’s work, narcissistic attitudes infiltrate the Church as well.

Countering narcissism requires vigilance, self-examination, and daily submission to God’s transforming power.

Instead of fixating on our own fading reflections, may we shift our gaze heavenward and say, “Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness” (Psalm 115:1).

This article appears in the Winter 2026 issue of Influence magazine.