There has been a renewed emphasis on privacy lately, especially when it comes to our online presence and social media. There is a balance between being transparent and sharing too much. This is particularly true for ministers who strive to be all things to all people while still maintaining dignity and respect.

So, what’s appropriate to share, and what should remain private? There are obvious things that should stay private, like your financial information, including your salary, or things spoken to you in confidentiality. And, of course, there are legal requirements that compel you to reveal details to authorities when someone discloses a felony or abuse, especially involving a minor.

But what I want to talk about are things you share as a minister, either from the pulpit, through social media, in one-on-one conversations, with other pastors, or in staff meetings. Here is a list of do's and don’ts that provides helpful guidance for what you should and should not share.

Don’t share your frustrations about ministry; do share your personal challenges as a minister. Every minister faces frustrations at times, whether it’s a disagreement with a board member or fellow staff pastor, or the feeling of failure when things don’t go according to expectations. Although it is common to feel frustrated, it’s important to keep those feelings to yourself. By airing your grievances publicly, you could undermine the vision of the church and damage the work of God.

It is appropriate to share your personal challenges from time to time. Be honest about how you feel when you face a hard time in ministry. Be open about seasons of life that are difficult and draining. However, do this in a spirit of hope and as a plea for help rather than in a mode of frustration and discontentment. Repeatedly talking about hurts over missed opportunities and unmet expectations may mark you as a complainer.

Don’t tell embarrassing stories about your family; do talk about your own real-life moments. We all have funny stories from our home lives. And the more embarrassing they are, the more entertaining they can be. But the desire to get a laugh can often override our sensibilities. What is humorous to you can be humiliating for others.

Whether it’s from the pulpit or simply on social media, your words can carry a lot of weight.

Before you share a personal story, consider its effect on those close to you. Would that story about your child put him or her in a difficult position among friends who hear it? Could that story about your spouse drive a wedge between the two of you? And does that story about your upbringing honor your parents or paint them in a negative light?

It’s OK to be transparent about the real life you live as a minister. It can help build a connection with your audience and offer relief to those who see their own family relationships as complicated. But make sure any embarrassing moments are kept at home.

Don’t reveal other people’s personal struggles; do repeat their personal testimonies with permission. Some people will tell ministry leaders their deepest, darkest secrets. Confessing sins is an important step toward freedom in the life of the believer. But you should hold in strict confidence the details people share with you.

At times, you may feel like repeating someone else’s story could prove helpful. Whether it’s during a sermon, a counseling session or even a staff meeting, the details of another person’s struggle could pave the way for freedom for others or even provide context for difficult seasons. But if you have not first asked for permission to share, you’re breaking a confidence.

When someone shares with you a story of personal struggle you feel could help others, ask the individual for permission to use it in the future. Then, whenever you decide to share that testimony, ask again. In fact, why not invite that person to share it? That way, you maintain a high level of confidence with someone who is trusting you with his or her deepest details.

Don’t share endorsements; do share preferences. The first thing you probably think of when you read “endorsement” is politics. And of course, the law prohibits any nonprofit, including churches, from engaging in certain campaign activities. But there are other endorsements ministers should be careful about.

Be cautious of favoring one business over another when you’re speaking to others. If, for instance, you remark about how much you love a member’s new restaurant, other restaurant owners in your church will expect the same attention. And if you praise one plumber in your church over another, you could be inviting trouble.

That’s not to say you can’t offer recommendations or comment on your preferences. And a business that offers donated goods or services should receive some recognition for the work. But always think twice before you speak. Whether it’s from the pulpit or simply on social media, your words can carry a lot of weight. Be careful how you use them.

These are just a few things to weigh when considering how much you should share. The circumstances may change, but the principles remain the same. Think about how your speech may affect others. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” Choose your words wisely.