It seemed like just another trip to the hardware store. I picked up supplies and packed them into my Jeep. Before driving away, I noticed a lady walking across the parking lot. She was carrying her yoga mat, but I knew she was carrying something more.

Recently she shared a struggle with me related to mental health and asked for prayer. This was a heavy burden, much heavier than the mat she was carrying.

Such is the battle that so many fight. A mental health struggle is not easily seen, and for those in the fight, it seems no one truly understands the weight you’re carrying.

About 10 years ago, I felt the full weight of anxiety and depression. The stress of ministry and a series of discouraging events became overwhelming for me mentally and emotionally.

Constant cycles of worry and dark thoughts were like waves crashing down on me, with the relief of dry ground seemingly miles away. Looking back in my journal, I described this low feeling as “a burden so heavy that my spirit is crushed.”

I experienced this crushing weight for a few months, but for others, a battle with anxiety or depression never seems to end. I especially think of the crippled man who laid helpless on his mat by the pool of Bethesda for 38 years, waiting for a miracle (John 5:1–15). The physical disability of not being able to walk was the obvious problem.

To observers, he was the man on the mat who was unable to make it to the pool. But perhaps heavier than the physical pain was the mental agony and emotional heartache of consistently falling short — for 38 years. Discouragement must have lingered. And perhaps the idea that “things will never get better” was like an anvil on his mind.

Jesus didn’t leave the man on his mat. He lifted the weight of all the mental, emotional, and spiritual pain with personal attention and divine healing. And my battle ended with my wife and spiritual leaders around me slowly lifting the weight of anxiety and depression off my heart and mind.

Whether it’s a short battle or a lifelong one, the Church needs people who can see and respond to the heavy weight of mental health struggles. Our country is facing a mental health crisis, so hurting people are all around us. With Jesus’ response to the man by the pool as inspiration, church leaders can respond and provide relief for people carrying the heaviness of anxiety and depression.

See the Need

The lame man was surrounded by a crowd of hurting people, yet Jesus realized he was the one needing urgent attention. Likewise, hurting people are walking in and out of our churches, and we need to see the ones with the heaviest burdens.

We can’t assume that people will self-diagnose and seek help from a counselor. Instead, the Church needs an “all hands-on deck” mentality, with pastors, group leaders, greeters, and youth workers ready to see and respond to the subtle and obvious cries for help.

So, what does the weight of mental health struggles look like? Every battle is unique, so there’s no universal guide. This is why mindfulness is key. In our connections with people, we may notice that something is different but disregard the potential implication.

Thus, it’s crucial to encourage mindfulness in our leaders. This involves being attentive in the moment, prayerfully considering the significance of noticeable differences, and asking for the Spirit to guide us in the process.

When spiritual leaders practice mindfulness, they will likely notice some of the key signs. Mood swings, social withdrawal, negative self-talk, and changes in daily habits are all markers of someone struggling with their mental health.

Think about the person who is normally happy and talkative but suddenly acts quiet and distant. Or maybe you notice someone who used to linger and socialize begin to slip away and avoid conversations. Spiritual leaders must see these behaviors as potential indicators of an inward battle and respond meaningfully.

Ask Clarifying Questions

Jesus asked the man by the pool a question that seems rhetorical, “Do you want to get well?” But Jesus’ question was aimed at the man’s heart, giving him permission to clarify his desire. Beneath the physical disability was the agony of countless defeats and the longing to finally be well inside and out.

Church leaders can respond and provide relief for people carrying the heaviness of anxiety and depression.

For us, we should ask questions that allow people to safely share what they’re really going through. “How are you doing” is a good starting question, but the typical response is “I’m fine.” To clarify, we can ask a question that invites them to “tell me more.”

Clarifying questions demonstrate genuine empathy and help people feel safe to share the struggles they’re facing. As they share, we also should be willing to respond with similar vulnerability. Hurting people appreciate hearing that they’re not alone in the struggle, so clarifying how you navigated a similar struggle is helpful.

While not wanting to shift the focus to us, we must remember that an empathetic ear coupled with a transparent voice can open the door to a healing conversation.

Offer Supportive Reflections

The Scriptures detail that Jesus knew the man’s infirmity and the length of his illness, but he refrained from uttering, “I know what you’re going through.” Similarly, telling people who are in a mental health battle “I know this must be hard” isn’t the answer.

Remember the way we speak to a person will either encourage or discourage them. So, it’s better to admit you don’t understand the heaviness they’re carrying and offer supportive reflections.

Supportive reflections demonstrate that we heard what the person said by prefacing our response with their words. This is especially welcome after they’ve vulnerably shared important details regarding their inner battle. After intently listening to their struggle, we must remind ourselves that this person’s need is significant to them and should be treated with care and concern. 

Imagine someone struggling with the loss of a friend and is wrestling with their final interaction with them. After they share their story, you can respond, “So you’re feeling guilt with how you last spoke to your friend, and you wish you could go back and change this recent interaction, replaying everything in your mind? It sounds like a distressing place to be.” This supportive reflection encourages the person by reassuring them you heard and understand the weight of their struggle.

Provide Follow-up Care

Jesus’ care and attention didn’t end with the miracle. He circled back to provide additional spiritual direction. It’s a common misconception that one encouraging conversation and prayer will bring lasting relief. But in mental health struggles, follow-up is a must.

So, before you end a first conversation, establish a game plan to have a second one. It’s never our intention to walk away and forget somebody, but if we’re not intentional, it can certainly happen.

Taking three steps will ensure effective follow-up. First, gather the person’s information so you can check in with them later. This step not only demonstrates you really care, but it also makes certain you can contact the one needing follow-up care.

Next, make it a team effort. No one person has the knowledge and availability for everyone in need, so it’s important to understand who they already have in their support network and ask for permission for other leaders to contact them.

I once ministered to someone struggling with fear and anxiety following an early cancer diagnosis. In response, I asked for permission to connect them to a small group leader who was a cancer survivor. The group leader’s informed counsel was more meaningful than my own, resulting in consistent and valuable support during a challenging season.

Finally, we must honestly assess our ability to help someone. God gave us different abilities for a reason. It’s sometimes best to refer someone to a professional or people who have more experience with a particular struggle.

Recently, I was asked to counsel someone following the sudden death of a loved one. After my initial counsel, I promptly connected them to my wife for a follow-up conversation. My wife’s experience as a mental health therapist was crucial in helping this individual process a traumatic loss. Whether it’s referring someone to a therapist or another specific action, we should make every effort to connect the person to the right resources. 

There are no simple, easy answers for the very difficult mental health struggles people face. But with intentional practices, spiritual leaders can discern when people are carrying emotional and mental burdens. And with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can lead them to a healthier place.