As a pastor, you will have multiple roles to fill. You’ll spend much time and energy juggling different hats as you navigate your workweek and ministry month. Each Sunday you are a “preacher,” the lead communicator of your church. In Monday staff meeting, you’re the “vision caster,” using CEO-level skills to steer your ship. Other times and in other meetings you’ll be a coach, mentor and lead collaborator.

One area of ministry that you will always be active in, no matter how big or small your church happens to be, is “counselor.” I’ve put that word in quotes because you may or may not be trained and licensed to provide counseling. Your best skill will always be a keen understanding of when to refer a person to a professional.

But you will still have ample opportunity to sit and talk with a parishioner in need. You’ll find yourself in a coffee shop learning about their trials or taking a seat in your office to provide advice. In fact, you may be at the gym or on the ball field and still be called on to give counsel. Once people find our you’re a pastor, get ready. They’ll want to talk, and our job is to listen.

Our role as pastors may best be called “listeners.” The one skill that you should attain before any others if you have to interact with others in need is the ability to be an active listener. And when we listen, we’re not just providing counsel or support. We are actually putting on the very nature of a servant and being Christ-like for them.

God himself listens to us. He is the most attentive being in our universe. “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us,” we read in 1 John 5:14. “God has surely listened and has heard my prayer,” we’re told in Psalm 66:19.

God is a listener, but he wants us to do it too. Leaders must be listeners if they want to have real impact in their world. Proverbs 25:12 says that a “listening ear” is like an “ornament of fine gold.” I hope that people who interact with me can think of me so highly.

Lend an Ear
Of all the people you will need to listen to as a leader, the most important are the ones you lead. Your staff needs to know that you hear them — that you are listening and want to respond. By giving them your ear, you are letting them know they are important. You are reassuring them of their value to your team.

When should you be listening to your staff? First of all, during times of personal crisis. You are, after all, their pastor. There is a tendency among pastors to stay independent and deal with their issues in isolation. Part of that is due to the sheer fact pastors are employed by another pastor. The one who you go to for spiritual guidance is also the one you talk to about a raise.

So, as a lead pastor, be sensitive whenever a staff member is going through a difficult season. He or she may not be willing to initiate a conversation about it. You may need to be the one who pursues the dialogue.

Of all the people you will need to listen to as a leader, the most important are the ones you lead.

Another time to listen is before someone hits burnout. Our jobs as ministers is not an easy one. As a leader, you have the opportunity to keep your eye on their temperature gauge. When you sense a staff member moving into the red, intercept them for a few minutes, an hour over coffee, or even an afternoon off. Provide them a listening sounding board to get reoriented. Just hearing an individual out may be all they need to reenergize and refocus.

Finally, step in as an active listener when collaboration turns into conflict. If you have a large church staff, it will be tempting to allow each department to work in isolation of each other. The reason is that once people begin to work across boundaries you can guarantee there will be conflicts. As personalities clash and agendas mishmash, any meeting could end in a crash. As a leader, it’s your job to step in and sort it out. Active listening may be your best asset in that situation.

How to Listen
If you’re committed to be an active listener, here are a few things to keep in mind. None of these steps are rocket science, but they may help nudge you in the right direction, especially when it comes to calming down conflict.

Pause before speaking. Before you respond during any important conversation, take a moment. This gives your brain time to catch up with your ears. Did you really hear them right? Play it one more time in your head. But it also allows the Holy Spirit room to move. We may think we have the best response, but the Holy Spirit is always right when it comes to the words we should speak.

Repeat it back to them. The best way to clarify what you’ve just heard is to repeat it back to the other person to make sure you’re hearing them right. Saying, “What I’m hearing is … ” or “Do you mean that … ” is a great way to approach a difficult conversation. Often times others’ emotions may have gotten the best of them, and they didn’t mean to say what they did or the way they phrased it. Or maybe you were listening but got stuck on one word. Clarify by repeating it back to the individual.

Be fair and impartial. In a conflict between two parties, show perfect impartiality. Allow both sides to speak before making any definitive remarks. Don’t let one side dominate, but make sure what’s being said is constructive. Once you’ve had a chance to listen closely to both sides, only then can you move forward in confident leadership.

Every day you’ll have a chance to listen as concerns come flying at you. A good leader takes the initiative to hear the other person out instead of relying on his or her own judgment.