It’s the Christmas season, and everyone is looking forward to the celebrations and gifts that come with this holy time. However, it’s important to remember that there are those around us who may struggle during this time. Activities, parties and gift-giving can put a painful strain on a budget that is already stretched thin for some families. Households led by single moms oftentimes experience this. Single parenting is a growing demographic in our nation, with single moms at the head of most of those families.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were roughly 12 million single parent families in 2015, more than 80 percent of which were headed by single mothers. Today, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.4 million — are being raised without a father and nearly half (45 percent) live below the poverty line. These statistics don’t feel like mere numbers to those who are caught within them. For these households, it is a way of life and an ongoing struggle.

Many church leaders want to make a difference but aren’t sure how to reach out to this part of our society. Several questions arise: What do these single moms and their children need most? How can male leaders be involved in the ministry without positioning themselves for unhealthy associations and dependence? How do we minister to them with dignity and honor?

Even though pastors may feel uncertain in how to respond, Christmas can be a terrific opportunity to bless single moms, which can then lead to ongoing ministry throughout the year in churches as well as in the community. In Jesus’ day, widows and orphans were in need in every way — physically, financially, socially. The Body of Christ was admonished to take care of them. Today, we can add single parents and their children to the list of those who need ministry designed specifically and lovingly for them.

Single moms may be more likely to feel marginalized within the church context than outside the church. This does not have to be. There are many ways to include and value single moms and their children within the church community. It starts simply, with a combination of including them at all church-wide ministries and events, while also designing intentional ministry for them.

Like most parents, single moms would say, “Love and bless my kids, and you have my heart for life!” But, just how do we do this? Finding resources for ideas and insight into specific ways to help is a great place to start. It’s helpful to find those in the congregation who already have a heart of compassion for single moms and their children, and ask for their input.

Even though pastors may feel uncertain in how to respond, Christmas can be a terrific opportunity to bless single moms, which can then lead to ongoing ministry throughout the year in churches as well as in the community.

Women who were single moms in the past, or those raised by a single mom, can be a terrific source of information, and may want to help lead focused ministry to single-parent families. Ladies who are connected to single moms through leadership might know the “stories” behind the scenes. Youth or children's pastors might be a good resource for learning where the needs are.

Having a cadre of people you trust to help can lead to effective and honoring ministry while implementing wise boundaries for all involved. Find people within your church who can offer inside information to begin ministering intentionally to single moms and their families.

Here are some ideas to direct your leaders and church in helping with the goal of blessing and equipping single moms:

• Host a “Parent’s Night Out” for all parents, with free childcare offered at the church for a three-hour window. (Weekend dinner time would be ideal, feeding the kids an easy meal of pizza)
• Announce a gift card drive for families in need, leading up to the holiday season. Designate a portion of these for single moms. (Gift cards to Target and Walmart give the most options to single moms, offering money for groceries, medication, toys, clothes, etc.)
• Offer a Saturday when the men’s ministries will be at the church parking lot to service the cars of single moms, providing oil changes and minor work. If possible, driving the car to fill up the tank with gas before returning it to the single mom would increase the impact.
• Any father/son activities offered at the church should always have a plan to offer a way for those without a father in the picture to attend with a trustworthy mature man. (Background checks are non-negotiable when ministering to kids and youth.)
• Prayerfully seek a leader to host ongoing Bible studies for single moms. Offering a specific study addressing the needs of single moms would be a great way to lay a spiritual foundation. (Lois Breit, a fully appointed missionary to single moms, has a great resource for churches that want to offer a study for single mothers.) Regularly provide registration funds for the moms to attend a women’s retreat or conference. This will build morale and encouragement as well as offer a chance to develop relationships with other women in the church.
• Offer paid registration for the children of single moms to attend kids and youth camps and conferences, which will fortify the entire family.
• Cover the registration costs for a class on money management offered at the church.
• Single moms who are strong and mature in the Lord should be seen in positions of leadership and spiritual significance. What areas of ministry does your church offer that these single moms could join and/or lead?
• When possible, anonymously send funds to help with bill paying. If there is a concern about the appropriate use of the funds, utility or rental companies could be contacted with payment for the family.

At the end of the day, showing love, value and concern for single moms and their children is the point of it all, and it is a true expression of the heart of God. If you have never been part of a single parent household, take some time to ask and listen to those who have. Your understanding will grow, and most likely, upon hearing those stories, you will take the next step to make a difference in the lives of single moms and their children. Jesus encourages us to serve all those who are in need, “When you’ve done it unto the least of these, you’ve done it unto me.”

For more ideas and resources in ministering to single mothers, contact Lois Breit, full-time missionary to single moms.