If you lead a church or ministry, chances are you’ve been the target of irrational anger. Pastoring in this age of anger is a challenging tightrope walk as you try to decide when to be angry, when to be silent, and when to confront sinful attitudes.

We live in a time of conflict. Evil, anger and hate are on the rise. The 24-hour news cycle and social media contribute to unrest and fuel disagreement over politics, immigration, racial conflict, and more. In this social media age, angry people seem to have a louder voice.

A quick glance through the Facebook pages of church members shows that anger has even infected the Church. God’s people seem to have forgotten the instructions of James 1:19: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry ... .”

Not all anger is unwarranted, however. As Christians, we should be angry at prejudice, racism and hate. Sexual harassment should make us mad. The damaging effects of sin should provoke a response.

I’ve decided that I won’t be an angry pastor. People get more than enough of that in the world. They don’t need it in the church! Instead, here is how I have decided to lead:

I’ve yet to see an angry social media message result in revival.

1. Realize anger doesn’t work. Before joining an angry chorus, I remind myself of a verse I memorized years ago. I learned it in the King James Version, and I still quote it often: “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).

I’ve never met a person who came to Christ as the result of an angry confrontation. I’ve yet to see an angry social media message result in revival. Anger doesn’t work. It doesn’t produce God’s desired results.

2. Listen to people I disagree with. I intentionally listen to political commentators who don’t share my views. I want to know where they are, so I can build a bridge of relationship with them, for the purpose of sharing the love of Jesus. When I am willing to listen to them, I’ve discovered they are more likely to listen to me.

3. Lead with love, not anger. Years ago, we had a witch attend our church with his wife. One Sunday, we took them to lunch. He asked a lot of questions. No matter my answer, he angrily disagreed. Finally, I looked across the table and said, “I love you, and God loves you. I care about you and your family. You can argue with everything I say, but you can’t argue with this: I love you.”

Tears welled up in his eyes and poured down his cheeks. He didn’t have an answer to love.

4. Practice gentle kindness. First Peter 3:15 says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ... .”

In an angry world, gentleness and kindness stand out and draw people to the love of Jesus. When I finished writing this article, I thought, This is probably going to make some people mad. If that’s you, know that in response to your anger, I will listen, love, and practice gentle, lovingkindness.

This article originally appeared in the March/April 2018 edition of Influence magazine.