A Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson depicts two deer standing in a forest looking at one another. The one on the left has a red bullseye on his chest. The one on the right says to him, “Bummer of a birthmark, Hal.”

Being the target of criticism is a “bummer of a birthmark” for ministers. It’s an inevitable result of working with people.

When people don’t share your heart, they make it their business to share their displeasure.

The apostle Paul experienced such criticism firsthand.

Some Corinthians compared him unfavorably to so-called “super apostles” because Paul was a poor speaker, worked to support himself, and suffered persecution (2 Corinthians 11:5–12,23–30).

One individual attacked Paul personally, perhaps physically. Paul told Timothy, “Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm” (2 Timothy 4:14).

At a critical moment, many of Paul’s friends and co-workers abandoned him as well (2 Timothy 1:15; 4:10,16).

M. Scott Peck famously said, “Life is difficult.” It’s certainly true in ministry.

Being a target is not the whole story. Paul described the Philippians as “my brothers and sisters, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown” (Philippians 4:1). Ministry can be a cross, but also a crown.

I love the ministry, and I want you to love it too!

The question is how to develop resilience so that the hard slogs in ministry don’t steal our joy — or our effectiveness. The answer lies in having a tender heart, thick skin, and a teachable spirit.

Tender Heart

A tender heart trusts God amid the difficulties of life and ministry.

The story is told of a pastor who was on a flight during an intense storm.

“We are expecting some turbulence,” the captain announced over the intercom.

Seconds later, a flight attendant said, “We will not be serving beverages at this time, so remain seated and be sure your seat belts are buckled.”

Suddenly, there was a loud thunderclap, and lightning illuminated the cabin. The plane jostled violently like a cork tossed on the ocean.

Passengers were understandably distraught. Some cried, while others prayed.

Then the pastor noticed a little girl across the aisle, playing peacefully on a tablet. She seemed neither worried nor afraid.

Intrigued, the pastor asked the child after the plane landed how she remained so calm.

“My daddy is the pilot, and he’s taking me home,” she said.

This story is a parable of Christian life and ministry.

In Ephesians 2:8–9, Paul wrote: “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Like the little girl who implicitly trusted the pilot because he was her father, we can trust God in all things because He constantly gives us grace. Our works don’t save us; He does. Rather, our works reflect our confidence in God.

A day without growth is not
good for you
or the people
you lead.

Faith is the essence of a tender heart. To keep our hearts tender, we need to remind ourselves constantly that grace is the foundation of our lives and ministries.

Never lose your awe of God’s grace.

I love the last verse of the hymn “Grace Greater Than All Our Sin”:

Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
   freely bestowed on all who believe.
All who are longing to see His face,
   will you this moment His grace receive?

That grace includes the gift of the Holy Spirit. Lean into the Spirit constantly. Don’t allow the world’s loud distractions to mute the Spirit’s voice. And don’t let your self-talk get louder than God-talk.

Finally, since the Spirit inspired Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16–17), keep God’s Word active in your heart. When your emotions run cold and your faith is low, the Bible’s promises will keep your faith and calling alive.

Thick Skin

Resilience in life and ministry also requires thick skin.

Don’t misunderstand me. The goal of developing thick skin is not becoming indifferent to people. People are our job. We should love those God has called us to serve. When we no longer have interest in or sympathy for people, it’s time to reevaluate our calling.

Rather, the objective is protecting our hearts from the critical words and traumatic wounds that would otherwise result in calluses.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Jesus said something similar in Luke 6:45: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Our lives and ministries reflect our hearts, for better or worse.

So, how do we develop thick skin to weather criticism, negativity and personal attacks?

Always keep Jesus’ example in mind: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

Notice that Jesus didn’t respond in kind to attacks. His example is a reminder that we don’t have a right to get even just because we’ve been wronged. If everyone responded eye for eye and tooth for tooth, the world would quickly become eyeless and toothless!

Jesus entrusted himself to the Father. He placed His life, power, and authority in God’s hands. Instead of clinging to grudges or grievances, Jesus kept handing them over to the Father.

We cannot hold a grudge and effectively minister to people at the same time.

A thick skin will protect a tender heart from criticism.

Teachable Spirit

Finally, we need a teachable spirit to develop resilience. A teachable spirit improves our ability to hear both God and others.

The reality is, we are works in progress, and sometimes our critics have a point. A teachable spirit helps us improve as church leaders when those two truths come together.

Proverbs 12:1 puts the choice before us with admirable bluntness: “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” Good leaders learn from their mistakes, even when critics point them out.

So, how do we cultivate a teachable spirit?

Commit to growth. If we are works in progress, there is always room for improvement, whether in personal sanctification or ministerial effectiveness. A day without growth is not good for you or the people you lead.

Practice humility. When you don’t know something, ask questions. Humble people are always learning because they are open to correction.

A prideful attitude is the reason many leaders fail to grow. These leaders act like they have the answers, even when they don’t.

Pride is a mask for insecurity. And insecurity keeps you from seeking help and moving toward improvement.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Growth never comes looking for you. It’s your responsibility to take the initiative and find it.

Finally, own your mistakes. Saying “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong builds trust with the people you lead. Apologizing can be a short-term struggle, but trust produces long-term effectiveness.

Ministry at its core, is about serving others. The key to greater ministry effectiveness is developing resilience in the face of adversity. A tender heart, tough skin, and a teachable spirit will keep us from being crushed by criticism or sabotaged by our own flaws.

This article appears in the Spring 2025 issue of Influence magazine.