Committed follower of Jesus? Check.

Passion for ministering to middle and high school students? Check.

Multiple years of student ministry experience in a church of over 250 attendees including but not limited to areas of preaching, teaching, leadership training and development, budgeting, discipleship, outreach, campus ministry, etc? …Check…

Perfect spouse, exemplary marriage, and 2.5 extremely well behaved kids demonstrating you’re a living, breathing success story of student and family ministry? ...Uhhh…

A bit facetious, sure. Not to mention illegal if that last bit was ever actually posted on a student ministries or youth pastor job listing. But what’s that old adage — perception is reality?

Before you dismiss me for not being able to relate to this topic of singleness in ministry, what with my 26-year-old millennial naivety, married status and recent maiden voyage into fatherhood, hear me out. My purpose for writing is not to type out a “7 Steps to Becoming the Single Minister God Wants You to Be.” After all, I don’t think God uses adjectives the same way we do. Don’t believe me? Replace the word “Single” in my previous faux article title with the word “married.” Or with the word female. Or with an ethnicity.  

My approach to this article is probably more in line with the shy kid in the back of the classroom who sort of sheepishly raises his hand to ask a question. Why? Because our culture, and most certainly church leaders and those considered next gen ministry leaders, are in a seemingly significant moment — one that demands attention, wisdom and intentionality. And I’m wondering if we’re truly realizing it.

There’s a historic shift toward a steadily growing demographic of young, never-married adults populating our ministries and marketplaces. 

Aware or not, the truth is there’s a historic shift toward a steadily growing demographic of young, never-married adults populating our ministries and marketplaces. And it’s my hope in the recent era of ever-increasing focus on family ministry and the power of the home that we haven’t inadvertently created a church leadership culture that correlates singleness with limited ministry opportunities and effectiveness.

1 Chronicles 12:32 tells of the tribe of Issachar who, during a time of much change in Israel’s history, “had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do.” I contend that one of the differences between good leaders and great ones is, as stated in the passage, a leader’s ability to understand and know what to do. Isn’t it ironic that in the information age, the ability to simply understand and act has become more difficult than ever?

To help recognize the times we find ourselves in as it corresponds to this whole topic of singles in ministry (both the current reality and future outlook), check out these stats from a couple recent Pew Research Center studies:

- From a late 2014 article on millennials and marriage, nearly 30 percent of adults over 18 had never been married at the time of their study. For context, this number has doubled from just 50 years ago.

- The average age upon first marriage is now 27 (females) and 29 (males).

- 67 percent of 18-29 year olds responded in the study that our culture is just as well off if people have other priorities than getting married and raising a family.

- Finally, from this late May 2016 posting, a monumental shift occurred in that for the first time 18-34 year olds were more likely to live with their parents than any other living arrangement.

A lot of commentary could be given to how the church has engaged, currently engages and what ministry opportunities exist (or may not as readily exist) for the growing 18-34 year old single adult demographic referenced in the stats above. Not to mention, the loud “CHURCHES/LEADERS – WE HAVE A INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY!” that stats and studies like these scream to me. But rather than debating methodologies, or the silly notion that someone who isn’t married or doesn’t have kids can’t minister or is a less effective minister to those who are married and do have kids, I’d like to pose a few questions to guide your response and perhaps challenge you to dream of more for your students as they journey into adulthood.

1. What kind of environment does your church culture provide for those who are not married and desiring to be involved in leadership roles in your church’s ministries and programs?

2. What is your church’s current ministry strategy for those in the not married, 18-34 year old demographic? 

3. The typical transition zone from children’s ministry to youth/student ministry is over a summer or year. The typical transition zone from high school graduation into independent adulthood (based on the average marriage age) is ~8-12 years. What level of importance do you place on your ministry’s on-ramps (kids to youth) and off-ramps? (youth to adulthood)

Billy Hartman serves as Operations Manager for the National Youth Ministries of the Assemblies of God.