Does it feel like we live in an easily offended society? We have cultivated a culture of outrage that allows us to air our grievances to the world with a few keystrokes.

And with more access to other people’s opinions, we also have additional opportunities to become angry about them. Combine that with a culture that often is offensive and unjust, and you have a recipe for thin-skinned people to take the lead.

Whether it’s players kneeling during the National Anthem or a talk show host expressing a political view, the opportunities for outrage are as numerous as our outlets for expressing them. However you come down on an issue, there are always people who are offended by your opinion and whose opinion can offend you.

The culture of offense has invaded every area of our lives, and in every shape imaginable. I’m offended when you’re not offended by what I’m offended about. But I’m also offended when you’re offended by what I’m not offended about. It’s become a vicious cycle.

We seem to swing between “keeping it real” and being “politically correct,” with neither side giving any ground. Is there a happy medium? I think that we as leaders need to find it.

Instead of airing our grievances and leading with outrage, the time has come for sensible leadership to take the wheel. Our audiences, congregations, and even neighbors look to us for answers and direction. How we respond to offenses can make or break our credibility.

Why Are We So Offended?

There are many reasons why we live in an easily offended culture. For one, some people are just naturally sensitive. One study revealed that 20 percent of the population is genetically predisposed to having higher empathy. That means the opinions, feelings and perceived slights of others may affect them more.

Others are offended due to self-centeredness. Their own opinions are such an important part of their identity that when someone disagrees with them, they take it as a personal affront. Instead of finding consensus or common ground, they’re pushy about their own ideas.

With nearly everyone offended about something, there is sometimes a lack of clarity about which offenses are legitimate reasons for concern. If everything is a cause for outrage, then nothing seems important anymore. As a result, we may overlook real injustice. We also live in a world of moral confusion, where some don’t seem to mind sin, while others are quick to condemn it.

Meanwhile, God calls us to act justly and love mercy (Micah 6:8). But how do we balance our desire for justice with our obligation to extend grace? How do we address the sinfulness and brokenness of the world without becoming outraged?

Taking the Lead

As church leaders, we don’t have to abandon our sense of justice or our opinions. God still calls us to maintain high standards. But when we are mindful of others, we are better at leading in an offended and offensive culture. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” That often means holding our tongue when we are personally offended.

How we respond to offenses can make or break our credibility.

Living at peace with everyone requires the kind of self-control that comes only from the Holy Spirit. It also takes a willingness to assume the best of others while remaining faithful to our convictions.

Those who are easily offended are the first to blare their horns after being cut off in traffic or glare at a fellow shopper who bumps their cart at the supermarket. But when we stop and consider that the person meant no harm, we can allow grace to temper our reactions.

The next time you are offended, try channeling that energy into charitable work, mission endeavors or positive actions. Instead of blasting someone for a contrary opinion, do something about the injustices you feel strongly about.

Finally, don’t let others’ sinfulness throw you. Sinners often act in offensive ways. Those whose minds are clouded by the enemy don’t operate with a clear morality like those who walk according to the Spirit. Accept that, and don’t be surprised when offensive things happen.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example

Encountering sinners never caused Jesus to deviate from His mission. While sinfulness offended the crowds, Jesus responded with love and acceptance. He ate with Zacchaeus, a known swindler, and the crowds whispered behind His back. Jesus accepted a foot washing from a woman with a sinful past, even though a Pharisee rebuked Him for it.

And when Jesus hung dying on the cross, the greatest injustice imaginable, He cried out for God to forgive rather than punish those who didn’t understand what they were doing.

We often hear that Jesus was meek and mild. Those characteristics were evident in His response to the sin around Him. Instead of leading with condemnation, Jesus forgave. Instead of being offended, He found a way to offer grace. Matthew 12:18-21, quoting the prophet Isaiah, provides a description of the meekness that characterized Jesus’ ministry:

“Here is my servant whom I have chosen,
the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he has brought justice through to victory.
In his name the nations will put their hope.”

Jesus retained His sense of right and wrong in the world, empowered by the Spirit to proclaim justice. His mission was to bring justice through victory. Yet even when surrounded by offenses and injustices on every side, He did not “quarrel or cry out.” Jesus refused to raise His voice over the maddening crowd.

And Jesus did not respond with violent outbursts. Instead, He offered hope for salvation to all nations. That should be the response of godly leaders to an outraged and offensive culture. May we emulate the same attitude as Christ.