It is often said that the sweetest sound in anyone’s ears is that person’s own name. As a pastor, I heard over and over again from new attenders to my church that part of the reason they came back the third time and eventually joined the church was because I remembered their name on their second visit. I have been in awe at friends who pastor megachurches and can call 80 percent of their regular attendees by their first names. The tragedy is that I have also met pastors of much smaller churches who have difficulty naming anyone other than their key leaders. “I am not good with names” is the common reason given. The good news is that, unless you are suffering from a severe mental disorder, you can get good at remembering. I suggest you begin to use a memory CARD – not a device you stick in your computer but an acronym to help you recall four keys to remembering things that matter. Nothing matters more to Jesus than the people to whom you minister, and there is no better way to show them you care (and He cares) than by making the effort to know them. This CARD has been developed from studies in neurology and memory studies and reflects proven techniques to remember what matters. It will work for lots of things you want and need to remember, but let’s take a specific look on how to use the CARD to remember names.

CONCENTRATE
Many who struggle remembering things like names do not make an effort to remember because it seems too difficult. Neurologists around the globe have discovered that people tend to process information in two ways. The first is the automatic process we use to do things that do not require effort. For example, do you think before you take a breath? We can remember many things immediately and without effort if they are simple and of great importance or habitual. However, most things require intentional effort. We must choose to concentrate when introduced to someone whose name we want to remember. Whether memorizing a scripture verse or a computer password, you need to make a conscious effort to get it down. Concentrating to remember starts with an intentional effort to pay attention and leads to the other steps of the memory CARD.

Nothing matters more to Jesus than the people to whom you minister, and there is no better way to show them you care (and He cares) than by making the effort to know them.

ASSOCIATE
Learning happens best when we associate new information with something we already know. This is why Jesus taught in parables. His listeners could begin to grasp and remember complex spiritual principles when he pictured them using the stuff of everyday life. When you want to remember something like the name of someone you just met, associate it with something. There are an unlimited number of things to use in association, but here are some ideas for associating people’s names:

Other people ­– Does the person look like someone else with the same or similar name? Do you know someone with the same or similar name? This is often the easiest way to associate when it applies.

Common/uncommon/first hearing ­– When I hear a name for the first time, I instinctively put it into one of three categories. The first is common names like Tom, Bob, Joe, Jill, Sarah, and so on. Many last names are common, too. The next category is uncommon – but not unheard of – names. I have only met a few people named Trevor or Jolene, but they are names I have heard before. The final group is names I have never heard before that first meeting. These often take more effort to remember. I may even ask for such a name to be spelled to aid in remembering, because I know it will be more work.

Images ­– Some people are visually oriented. A person’s name may immediately bring an image to mind that may or may not be directly related to the name. Rose may remind you of the flower, and Bob may make you think of an ocean buoy. Either way, embrace the image as a tool to bring the name back at a future interaction.

Geography ­– I have been a map geek since age six, so I like to ask people where they currently live or where they grow up when I meet them. Their name often gets locked onto that location on a mental map in my head that helps me remember.

Career ­– You may find it helpful to connect people with what they do. Ask people about their careers and look for ways to connect their names to their jobs.

Interests – Similarly, asking about hobbies can lead to some good opportunities to associate names and people. People love to talk about what they enjoy, so you do not lose by listening to people share their interests.

The list of things to associate can go on and on. Try some of these approaches or others you dream up. When you meet someone for the first time, concentrate then associate the person, the name, and your associated item.

REPEAT
The more times something is repeated, the more likely we are to remember it. This is why math and language instructors use flash cards. It is very difficult to make association with mathematical formulas, but repeating times tables over and over will eventually embed them in our minds. Repeating a person’s name can help you remember it, as well. Before I arrived at the church as new pastor, I asked for photos of all of the regular attenders with their names marked. Just like a first grade math student, I looked at the photos and repeated the names over and over until I could say them all. Some names came more quickly than others. Once a name was solid, I put that photo aside to work on the ones I had yet to learn. Later in ministry, I did the same thing with info cards from our guests.

DIVERSIFY
Neuroscientists have discovered that we use different parts of our brains to process material obtained by our different senses. That means you are more likely to remember something that you process through a variety of senses and methods. For example, the first time you meet a woman you will hear her name as she introduces herself to you. Your ears are one point of input. However, if you speak her name back in sentences throughout the conversation, you are engaging your mouth and repeating the name. If you take time to write her name later, the motion of your hand engages another part of your brain, and your ability to remember increases even more. Reading that same card later engages your visual system, another unique mental process. Four senses and organs have been used to help embed this one name in your memory.

Although remembering names is not automatic for most of us, it is not too difficult if we simply make the effort to use a memory CARD: concentrate when you hear a name for the first time, associate it with something you can remember more easily, repeat the name often, and diversify the ways you try to remember it. Making the effort to remember names can give you greater credibility with people and help them be more open to your message and the love of our Savior whom you represent. 

Alan Ehler, DMin, serves as dean of the college of Christian ministries and religion at Southeastern University.