Growth leads to conflict and conflict leads to growth. What do I mean by that? Any organizational growth creates an environment where conflict is present. As your team grows, so do the chances its members will somehow come into conflict. As more people attend your church, the likelihood that disagreement among members flares up. But each conflict is an opportunity for personal growth. If handled correctly, conflict can be a catalyst for personal development.

When you’re building the Kingdom you should expect all kinds of conflict to arise. Throughout the history of the Church some of the greatest growth has been accompanied by the deepest conflicts. Paul the Apostle understood this. In writing to the church in Ephesus he laid out a pattern for them to follow for organizational and spiritual growth

Ephesians 4:11,12
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up …

Our job as organizational leaders is to equip our people for the work that God has laid out for them. And the result is growth: “so that the body of Christ may be built up.” But that doesn’t mean there won’t be conflict.

Ephesians 4:13
… until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Paul followed up on the requirements of ministers by talking about the responsibility of unity and maturity. He knew there would be conflict. Our goal is unity, but unity is not the absence of conflict. Unity is the presence of Christ and His love anytime there is conflict. The faith journey of all believers should lead to maturity, but along the way you can expect some moments of conflict.

So, how do we lead through the growth process in order to avoid chaos and instability? Paul gives us one more word:

Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Speaking the truth in love means having the hard conversations that are necessary to resolve conflict and create opportunities for growth. However, many leaders don’t want to deal with conflict and tension. They would rather ignore it and hope it goes away, even if they know deep down there’s a real problem. But the truth is avoiding one hard conversation now means you’ll have 10 tomorrow!

How can we manage personal and team conflict so we can grow and move forward? How can we learn to speak truth in love as we manage conflict? Here are three tips to leverage conflict into an opportunity for growth.

Be On Time
The best time to address conflict is right now. Don’t put off tomorrow what needs to be dealt with today. Just like avoiding a trip to the doctor’s office won’t magically make you well, putting off conflict won’t make it go away.

When you ignore or avoid conflict, you actually lose credibility. Those around you, including your team and your church, are aware of conflict when it exists. Most of the time it’s obvious! When they see you ignoring and avoiding it they see you as a leader they can’t trust. But those leaders who deal with conflict immediately and directly go from shaky to stable in their eyes.

Treat Conflict as a Teaching Moment
Our natural default is to see conflict as a symptom of something that should be fixed. We want to quickly erase the conflict and move on. Like a leaky faucet or a flat tire, we treat conflict as a broken piece of our organization that should be eliminated quickly and efficiently.

If handled correctly, conflict can be a catalyst for personal development.

While it’s important to address conflict promptly, be careful not to gloss over it quickly and try to just move past it. Each conflict can be a way to teach others — and yourself — important lessons about why the conflict happened, how to adapt to changes and where to focus next.

Maybe it’s a team member who has failed a couple of times. The conflict may be between you and that person, but ultimately it’s about how he or she can improve. Or maybe it’s conflict with a board member who has his own vision separate from the church’s mission. Addressing the conflict head on will allow that individual to reset his goals and get in line with the church’s.

This is so important because treating conflict as a teaching moment rather than a problem to fix builds trust and demonstrates love. We show others our commitment to help them grow through their conflict, which makes us more trustworthy. But it also shows that we have sincere respect and love for them as people. Don’t miss out on this.

Manage the Mission, Not Your Image
We often take conflict personally. Let’s be honest, we all want people to like us. And that often motivates us to create an aura of unity rather than real maturity.

As leaders, it’s not about us — it’s about the mission. When we manage our image rather than the mission, we allow issues to persist because of our own insecurity. Rather than addressing the conflict, we avoid a messy confrontation so that we can still look good.

But managing image instead of mission means we miss out on growth opportunities. When we seek to be liked by everyone, we will ultimately be of little use to them. Maturity can only be reached if we are willing to do the hard work, and that includes conflict resolution.

Conflict can actually be useful to team unity, staff development and organizational growth. But you have to face it head on if you have any hope of turning it into a positive. Lean into it and use it to your advantage!