My parents had the gift of hospitality and a heart for ministers.

Pastors were frequent guests around our family dinner table. Our house even had an apartment my parents built for itinerant missionaries and evangelists.

From an early age, I learned to respect and honor church leaders. Imagine my surprise, then, when I stepped into my first pastorate and encountered vitriol and cruelty from the people God had called me to serve.

The church had plateaued long before my arrival, and there were few young people in the congregation.

During the interview process, I discussed this with the pastoral search committee and shared my vision for change. They agreed, and we prayed together.

It seemed this was the move God had for us.

Under Attack

As I had hoped, the Lord soon brought seekers into the church. Some quickly became enthusiastic converts, and others remained skeptical.

Instead of the usual suits and dresses, these newcomers wore jeans and T-shirts. They didn’t know where to find the books of the Bible I referred to in my sermons. They were also younger and more racially and ethnically diverse than longtime members.

These changes bred resentment. I can’t pinpoint exactly what triggered the backlash, but it seemed to arise almost overnight.

It was shocking. I had assumed the congregation would celebrate what God was doing. Instead, I felt like a shepherd who was realizing for the first time that sheep bite.

The older congregants stopped tithing regularly. When paying bills became more difficult as a result, they accused me of stealing church funds. Gossip turned to slander and caustic attacks.

People burst into my office unannounced to berate me. They called me at home during the evenings, raising their voices in anger. Some disgruntled members went so far as to question my faith.

Worse, I wasn’t the only person under attack. The contempt spilled over onto my wife and children, as well as the new believers in our congregation.

It was devastating.

Finally, the congregation convened a business meeting, called in our district officials, and voted to release me from my position.

Bite Marks

Thankfully, that wasn’t the end of our ministry journey. God led us to the wonderful, loving congregation I now pastor. In time, my family and I stopped hurting.

In fact, the healing was so complete I seldom thought about those old wounds — except when other pastors shared their own horror stories. Through those interactions, I realized my experience is not uncommon.

Hostile sheep are a reality for shepherds. It’s not a matter of if you will receive a painful bite, but when. The real question is how you will respond.

Once it starts, an attack can quickly intensify.

Paradoxically, the first nip often takes the form of flattery. Unlike a genuine compliment, flattery is an aggressive posture — a thinly veiled attempt at manipulation.

Hostile sheep are a reality for shepherds. It’s not a matter of if you will receive a painful bite, but when. The real question is how you will respond.

Next comes the bite of criticism. Leaders should welcome constructive critiques and helpful insights, however painful. But harsh, unfair disparagement can leave a mark on reputations and relationships.

Criticism takes a nasty turn when it starts spreading as gossip.

While gossip may have a veneer of truth, it often devolves into outright falsehoods and slander.

Reconciliation with slanderers is difficult. Asking these troublemakers to leave the church is often the only remedy.

The next bite is deliberate undermining of pastoral authority. Confrontations and accusations grow more combative, spilling out onto the entire congregation.

A final bite of abandonment severs relationships. Rarely does this happen quietly. Not content simply to move on, the belligerent congregant makes a spectacle — cutting a path of destruction and opening deep wounds.

Faithfulness

Sadly, pastors who experience these things often burn out and abandon their calling.

During stressful events, hormonal changes trigger the fight-or-flight response — and many ministers are choosing the latter.

According to a 2023 Barna Group survey, one-third of U.S. Protestant pastors had seriously considered leaving full-time ministry within the previous year.

Fight or flight is a natural response. However, I believe God is calling leaders to a supernatural response — one of faithfulness.

Jesus endured every kind of attack, yet remained true to His mission. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we can do the same.

Unlike Jesus, of course, we are neither perfect nor sinless. So our faithfulness must start with introspection.

Introspection

In the midst of conflict, finding fault with others is easy. But we should first examine our own hearts — with honesty, humility, and openness to change.

Dick Brogden observed, “Critics and skeptics are gifts to us, for in their aspersions they often bring to light a brokenness or a liability early on in its development in us. If we are secure enough to ferret out the truth through the condemnation of others, we remain healthy in the long term as our malady is exposed and dealt with before it becomes too serious.”

Human nature would have us excuse ourselves while pointing fingers at others. But the Holy Spirit leads us to truth, however painful that process may be.

I often repeat David’s prayer from Psalm 139:23–24:

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

During times of conflict, I prayerfully ask myself several clarifying questions: How did I contribute to this situation? Do I need to apologize for something I said or did? What is within my power to change in myself? What can I do to help those who feel angry or frustrated? How can I bring about God-glorifying reconciliation in this situation?

Such humble reflection can turn a difficult experience into a valuable lesson. If we immediately lash out at those who oppose us, we miss opportunities for reflection, reconciliation, and redemptive ministry.

A Spirit-led response helps everyone grow — leaders and parishioners alike.

Shepherding isn’t easy. Yet Jesus calls us to feed His sheep (John 21:17). Even when members of the flock hurt us, we are to love them as He does.

Confrontation

After introspection — and possibly repentance, confession, and apology — it may be time to confront misbehavior.

The apostle Paul told Timothy such confrontation should be gentle, not combative:

The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will (2 Timothy 2:24–26).

Many pastors are afraid to confront. Others approach confrontation in an ungodly manner, flying off the handle or pridefully pulling rank.

The best way to avoid these extremes is by remembering that biblical confrontation is about restoration, not destruction.

Conflicts and confrontations are draining. They can quickly deplete our reserves of energy and passion. We must follow Christ’s example by prioritizing prayer.

Handled correctly, confrontation can lead to deeper understanding, greater maturity, and healthier relationships.

Winning an argument is not the point. Putting ego aside, we must follow the example of Christ — the Good Shepherd who laid down His life for the sheep (John 10:11).

Sin grieves God’s heart, and it should grieve ours as well.

Sending Samuel to confront King Saul about his sin, the Lord said, “I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions” (1 Samuel 15:11)

In response, Samuel “cried out to the Lord all that night.”

If we spent time crying before confronting, we would likely see better results.

Billy Graham once said, “Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength.”

Before confronting a congregant, invite the Holy Spirit to confront you. In Matthew 7:3–5, Jesus emphasized the importance of self-examination before confrontation:

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

If you have sinned, confess those transgressions and seek God’s forgiveness. Ask the Lord to give you discernment, grace, and love as you prepare for confrontation.

Cry before you confront. Tearfully confess your sins. Lament the sinful state of your brother or sister.

Ask the Lord to guide this time of confrontation, that it may lead to restoration and growth for everyone involved.

Healthy Habits

Personal attacks take a toll on us emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Jesus ministered in the same kind of human body we have and was subject to the same stressors we experience.

Notice how Jesus responded, though. Luke 5:16 says, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”

Jesus regularly spent time alone in the Father’s presence, and we should too.

Conflicts and confrontations are draining. They can quickly deplete our reserves of energy and passion. We must follow Christ’s example by prioritizing prayer.

Jesus also understood the importance of rest and self-care. In Mark 6:30–32, He encouraged His disciples to take a break:

The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

If Jesus and His disciples needed time away from ministry to rest, it is foolish to assume we can keep going nonstop. The inevitable result will be exhaustion, burnout, and eventual collapse.

Take steps now to safeguard your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Avoid overbooking your schedule. Spend time with people who replenish you. Get adequate sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Carve out space daily for prayer and Bible study.

Self-care is not unspiritual. In fact, it is a vital part of remaining faithful through the ups and downs of ministry.

Submission

Hebrews 5:7 says, “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.”

In Gethsemane, knowing the Cross awaited Him, Jesus prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39).

Notice that this was a posture of submission, not defeatism or resignation.

It’s easy to resign when we cannot see how a dark, ugly situation is going to work out. Throwing in the towel is a natural fight-or-flight response.

Jesus described the hireling shepherd that way: “When he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away” (John 10:12).

Submission, on the other hand, is a supernatural response. It requires trust that God is working “for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

The apostle Peter described Christ’s submission this way: “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23).

Joyful Harvest

Hebrews 12:2 reveals that Jesus endured the shame of the Cross “for the joy set before him.”

Faithful laborers in ministry can look forward to a joyful future as well. Yes, sheep sometimes bite. But those who persevere will receive their reward.

As the apostle Paul wrote, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

Yes, sheep sometimes bite. But those who persevere will receive their reward.

My final service at that first pastorate was Palm Sunday. The following week, we attended Easter services at a church my close friend pastored.

Arriving that morning, one attendee caught my eye. I recognized him from our former congregation’s neighborhood. His wife and children had attended our church, but he never did.

After the service, the man approached me and said, “Today, when the pastor asked if anyone wanted to become a Christian, I prayed that prayer along with him.”

I was overjoyed! After we embraced, he asked, “Do you know why I prayed that prayer?”

“No,” I answered. “What happened?”

The man said, “I watched how you responded at your church. My wife told me the terrible things people were saying about you, and I waited to see how you would fight back. But you didn’t fight back, and you didn’t quit either. I thought, If he believes in what he’s preaching enough to stick with it like that, I should check it out for myself.”

I had no idea this man was watching. Until that moment, I never realized my faithfulness to God had become a quiet sermon.

My tears were watering seeds. God honored His promise by allowing me to see the harvest of a soul.

When you are faithful to your calling, the Lord will bring about a harvest. Even if you don’t experience it in this life, you will see and rejoice in heaven.

Consider the encouraging words of Hebrews 6:10–12:

God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.

God never gives up on you, so don’t give up on those He places in your care. Remain faithful to your calling, however painful it may be at times.