Robert started attending my youth ministry as an eighth grader. He was looking for social interaction, and our church was within walking distance of his school.

Long hair, baggy jeans, and checkered sneakers telegraphed that this newcomer was a skater. Less apparent was Robert’s spiritual hunger.

One evening after youth service, a team member and I gave Robert a ride home. When an older woman opened the door, a strong odor of marijuana smoke wafted across the yard.

Robert’s mom thanked us and explained that her son needed a support system. She was not a religious person. Yet she seemed genuinely pleased that Robert had found a place of community.

As I got to know him, I realized that although Robert lacked a biblical worldview, he was eager to learn. Nearly every week after youth service, he came to me with questions about the Bible, asking how it applied to his life.

Those conversations helped move Robert toward faith. They also opened my eyes to the value of one-on-one mentoring in student ministry.

Like Robert, most of the students in my rural youth group were from unchurched homes. Many rode the church bus or walked to services. Few had Christian family members speaking into their lives.

These students needed more than well-crafted sermons and fun activities. They were desperate for role models who would walk beside them, encourage them, and guide them in their faith journey.

The story is the same in communities across the nation as youth leaders increasingly encounter students with no Christian background.

National declines in religious affiliation and church attendance over the past decade have led to a corresponding rise in unchurched young people. In 2023, 42% of Generation Z was unaffiliated, according to researcher Ryan Burge. Only 19% of Gen Z identified as Protestant Christians.

Additionally, a 2019 Pew Research Center report revealed that about one-quarter of children and teens under age 18 lived in a household with one parent and no other adult.

Consequently, today’s students have fewer adults in their daily lives than previous generations. And many teens have no one at home guiding them in spiritual matters.

To reach and disciple this generation, an intentional youth discipleship process that includes mentoring is crucial.

As you mentor young people and equip others for mentoring, there are some essential guidelines to keep in view.

Avoid Assumptions

To understand the unique discipleship needs in your youth ministry, you must get to know students and their families.

It’s easy to fall into false consensus bias, believing your own experiences are the norm. That can lead to the mistaken assumption that most students come from nuclear families.

Most youth groups have students from single-parent households, grandparent-led families, or foster families. Many teens live in homes with unbiblical worldviews, alternative lifestyles, or non-Christian religious backgrounds.

We should partner with parents and guardians in discipleship as much as possible, while also recognizing the diverse range of family situations. The kind of mentoring a student needs may depend on his or her home life.

Shape Worldviews

It’s easy to focus on behavior because it’s measurable. Yet many unchurched students are starting from square one. They never heard the stories of Jonah or Noah, attended Vacation Bible School, or sang about Jesus in Sunday School during early childhood.

Showing up outside of ministry activities builds relational bridges, helping students see that church is more 
than a structure.

If we aim only for better behavior, we miss the bigger picture. God calls us to make disciples who see the world differently — specifically, through the lens of Scripture (Matthew 28:19–20).

A simple way to assess what our ministry focuses on is by considering what we’re preaching and teaching. Are we emphasizing the do’s more than the don’ts?

Youth leaders often emphasize what not to do, admonishing students to steer clear of particular behaviors. But when young people prioritize the do’s — reading the Bible, praying, loving others, seeking Spirit baptism, and imitating Christ — lifestyle changes will follow.

The goal is for students to become more like Jesus. As the apostle Paul explains in Romans 12:2, transformation starts with renewal of the mind. Only then can a person recognize and embrace God’s “good, pleasing and perfect will.”

I like to think of a biblical worldview as a filtering system. Just as every drop of coffee I consume flows through a filter, God’s Word tests each thought, idea, and belief (2 Corinthians 10:5; Philippians 4:8; Hebrews 4:12).

A biblical worldview equips students with wisdom for making right decisions. It helps them filter out the falsehoods they will inevitably encounter so they can walk in God’s truth.

As students develop a biblical worldview, their behavior will change, but for the right reasons — because God’s Word is transforming their identity and understanding.

Show Up

There’s something powerful about stepping into a teenager’s world. Showing up outside of ministry activities builds relational bridges, helping students see that church is more than a structure.

Showing up might mean attending a ballgame, school event, or concert. It can also involve being there to provide comfort after a family member’s death or incarceration.

Learn about the lives of individual students. Ask about their interests and hobbies. A student who is passionate about something is usually eager to discuss it.

Talk with students about the challenges they face as well. Many young people are looking for someone who cares and is willing to listen.

Whether you realize it or not, your presence lets students know they matter to the church and to God.

Multiply Mentorship

You can’t do this alone. You need a diverse team of mentors who are willing to invest in the lives of young people.

Not every student will connect naturally with you. Recruit leaders who can relate to athletes, gamers, musicians, and artists. Find women to mentor girls and men who can serve as role models for boys.

Include volunteers of different ages as well. A common misconception is that all youth workers should be young. In reality, there is value in having leaders with more life experience. And some teens relate better to older adults.

Relational investment takes more time and energy than one person can give. A committed leadership team makes it possible for every student to feel seen, known, and loved.

Preparing volunteers for mentoring requires time and training.

Consider providing an annual training event. This might be a series of onboarding sessions for new volunteers or a weekend retreat for all youth workers.

Additionally, schedule regular monthly meetings that include teaching sessions on particular topics. Provide opportunities for volunteers to offer feedback, discuss needs, and ask questions.

Finally, a 15-minute weekly team huddle before each service can be a time to connect, share updates, and receive encouragement.

Grow Relationships

There is no shortage of voices in young people’s lives. Every day, algorithms target them with a barrage of messages.

Yet no algorithm can match the power of a genuine relationship. And no message is as transformative as God’s.

Through mentoring connections, youth ministries can help students navigate the noise around them and encounter the life-changing truth of the gospel.

This article appears in the Summer 2025 issue of Influence magazine.