Stephanie couldn’t believe what she just heard.

During a difficult time in her marriage, she sought counsel from her pastor, John. He took advantage of her vulnerability and made an aggressive pass at her. She escaped and reported his actions to the church board.

The board discussed her report, then called Stephanie with its decision. She needed to follow Matthew 18 and confront Pastor John in private before it would take any action. Fear of doing so gripped her heart, and she felt violated all over again.

Is this the way Matthew 18 is supposed to work?

Biblical Exposition

Matthew 18:15–17 begins, “If your brother or sister sins.” Jesus knew the sad reality that Christians would sin. So He outlined a process to confront, forgive, and if necessary discipline them.

Restoration is the primary purpose of that process. “If [sinners] listen to you, you have won them over” (verse 15). The process places a premium on forgiving those who repent. Immediately following this passage, Jesus taught Peter the importance of heartfelt forgiveness (verses 21–35).

However, the process also outlines how to deal with Christians who are unrepentant. It unfolds in three steps.

The first is private confrontation: “Go and point out their fault, just between the two of you” (verse 15).

Private confrontation protects the accused from undue embarrassment and damage to their reputation. It spares others from unnecessary entanglement in the conflict. And it decreases gossip about the alleged sin.

Third-party accountability is the second step: “But if they will not listen, take one or two others along” (verse 16). Jesus cited Deuteronomy 19:15 — “so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’” — to explain the reason for this step.

The matter remains private, even as one or two others investigate the nature and severity of the offense and the accused’s response.

Moreover, additional voices may help convince the erring Christian to repent and seek restoration.

The third step is church discipline: “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church” (verse 17).

Telling the church does not mean naming the offender or announcing the sin during a worship service. Making an announcement with visitors present would not be edifying.

Rather, this step escalates the offense to a matter of institutional correction.

Restoring the erring Christian to fellowship with the Lord and others remains the primary purpose. Discipline happens only “if they refuse to listen even to the church” (verse 17).

Excommunication is the most severe form of church discipline. Rather than “a brother or sister” (verse 15), the church now treats the offender as “a pagan or a tax collector” (verse 17). That is, the person is no longer considered a member of the church, and perhaps not even a believer.

Contemporary Application

How should individual Christians and church leaders apply this process today?

1. Bathe the process in prayer. Do not underestimate the power of prayer as the Lord works on people’s hearts.

2. Exercise discernment. Sometimes, an offense is a matter of hurt feelings, not sin. Can the offended Christian pray about those feelings rather than confronting?

3. Follow the process. Highlighting a person’s sin can detract from Christ’s mission and embarrass the church. When you need to confront another believer, pick up the phone and set a meeting to resolve the problem.

Restoring the 
erring Christian 
to fellowship with 
the Lord and others 
remains the primary 
purpose.

If a one-on-one approach is not fruitful, invite other mature believers into the process. If the offender is a minister, denominational officials might fill the role.

4. Check your heart. Sometimes, we follow the letter of the law but miss its spirit entirely. Galatians 6:1 specifies that restoration should be approached with a gentle attitude.

Jesus’ process only works as intended when both parties exercise Christlike humility. Paul exhorted believers to “value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4).

If you are confronting someone, you should desire their restoration.

And if someone is confronting you, receive correction humbly.

5. Maintain confidentiality. Resist the temptation to gossip about someone’s sin — especially on social media — rather than lovingly confronting that person in private.

The goal of biblical confrontation is restoration, but the goal of gossip is fanning the flames of controversy. As Proverbs 26:20 says, “Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down.”

Confidentiality and gossip are mutually exclusive.

6. Protect victims. Some Bible translations of verse 15 include the phrase “against you,” though scholars debate whether it was in the original manuscript.

The inclusion of the phrase implies that the sinned against must be the first person to confront the sinner.

Regardless of whether the phrase is original, however, it seems unwise to mandate such confrontation in all cases.

Other Scriptures do not require it. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (emphasis added). Here, any mature Christian with knowledge of the offense can confront the offender, not just the victim.

Moreover, the familial language in both Matthew 18 and Galatians 6 — “brothers and sisters” — indicates relationships between equals. It does not seem to envision situations with a power differential between the parties.

Finally, common sense shows there are situations where “against you” confrontation is unwise and even harmful. A victim of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse surely should not be forced to privately confront his or her abuser!

When victims do not feel safe, other spiritually mature believers should step in as advocates and confront the abuser.

7. Mandatory reporting. Matthew 18 lists private confrontation as the first step in a process. Keeping a matter “just between the two of you” must be applied with wisdom, however.

For example, if an adult physically or sexually abuses a minor, that is a crime. While state laws vary, ministers should consider themselves mandatory reporters and report such known or reasonable suspicions of abuse to relevant state authorities. Youth workers should too.

8. Ministerial Disputes. Matthew 18 speaks in a general way about sins one Christian commits against another. What happens when the sinner is a vocational minister, however? Does Matthew 18 still apply?

First Timothy 5:19–20 suggests a modified process: “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that the others may take warning.”

Because ministers exercise authority in a congregation, there is a higher threshold for accusing them of wrongdoing. By the same token, however, there is a lower threshold for publicly correcting them.

In the Assemblies of God, when ministers commit an offense listed in Article X of the Bylaws, their congregations do not investigate the matter — their district council or ministry network does. And if the allegation is found to be true, it is the latter who supervises ministerial discipline.

Greater authority requires greater accountability.

This article appears in the Summer 2025 issue of Influence magazine.