One of the hardest things a church leader deals with is seeing people leave the ministry team. Whether the circumstances in which they leave are good or bad, the challenge is real. And after nearly 30 years of ministry, I can tell you that it doesn’t get easier.

For the first 15 years, no one left our team at Christ Fellowship. We just kept happily building our staff and working together to build the church. But eventually, people did leave. Some simply weren’t a good fit for the new season we were entering. A few faced personal issues requiring them to step back. Still others felt God calling them to relocate or step into a new career path.

While these issues and situations may not be extraordinary, our response to them must be. Leaders set a tone that positively or negatively affects the remaining team members. And the way we say good-bye can have Kingdom impact on the church’s strength and effectiveness in reaching people. Our highest goal in any departure should be extending honor and love, to the best of our ability. Consider these tips for graciously saying goodbye.

Celebrate God’s Calling

It’s important to remember that seasons come and go; they don’t last forever. Eventually, members of your team will likely feel that their season at your church is ending and God is calling them elsewhere. And while it may hurt to let them go, it’s important to put those emotions aside and celebrate God’s calling on their life. 

I’ll admit, I pray that our people will not be “uncalled” from our team because I love them and believe they make our church stronger. But I also know that the kingdom of God is much bigger than Christ Fellowship and that a healthy church is a sending church. So we try to hug people tightly while they are with us and hold them loosely so God can lead and direct them as He sees fit. 

Use Discretion in What You Share

Unfortunately, there are times when we must dismiss someone from a position for making unhealthy choices or performing poorly. These are among the hardest good-byes because they come with so much disappointment, making them uncomfortable for everyone involved. 

In these situations, it’s important to use discernment in deciding who really needs to know the details. Limiting the circle to a need-to-know few gives the dismissed team member the greatest opportunity for healing and restoration. 

It is my prayer that we never dismiss people from our team without showing them love and offering to help however we can, whenever they need it.

Offer assurances of love and concern. Remember, the words you speak have the power of life or death (Proverbs 18:21). When a team member departs under difficult circumstances, use loving discretion among peers and the people they led.

Leave on the Porch Light

Our family has experienced some hard losses, as people we thought would grow old with us in ministry left. But I decided years ago that, regardless of the circumstances, I will give each family a parting gift: a large lantern to symbolize that the back porch light will always be on for them.

Several recipients of this gift have found their way back to Christ Fellowship and rejoined the team. I honestly believe that if we hadn’t honored them by extending the option to return, many would struggle with feelings of doubt about approaching us for another opportunity. Thankfully, those lanterns have created some really sweet back porch conversations, which have opened the door to even stronger partnerships in ministry the second time around.

Even when someone leaves under unhealthy circumstances, we keep the light on for them. Depending on the situation, it may not be possible to rehire the person, but we can offer our prayers and encouragement, along with the services of our care ministries. It is my prayer that we never dismiss people from our team without showing them love and offering to help however we can, whenever they need it. And we always send them off with hopeful expectation for full healing and restoration.

While every exit comes with varying degrees of pain and complexity, our objective as leaders should be to honor our people well. May the unity of the church and the love of our Savior guide us.

Julie Mullins is co-senior pastor of Christ Fellowship in West Palm Beach, Florida, along with her husband, Todd. This article originally appeared in the June/July issue of Influence. For more print content, subscribe here.