We all want to do our best. Excellence in ministry brings great rewards. And we should all want to please God, committing our life to Him by avoiding sin and following His instructions. But that desire to be our best can sometimes lead to perfectionism. And that’s bad.

Perfectionism is the belief that if we just work hard enough, we can do everything right and avoid anything wrong. We can reduce all our errors to zero. But perfectionism is never realistic, especially for ministers.

A recent study found an increase in perfectionism among college students over the last 30 years. That same trend is seeping into every area of our lives, including our churches. We often think we must outperform our neighbors, outwork our colleagues, and outlast any semblance of failure. But in the end, that way of life leaves us empty and exhausted.

Surely there’s a better way. When we are completely honest with ourselves, we know that perfectionism is unreachable. But the desire to live right and do right can often blind us to this fact. We need to reorient our spiritual growth in a divine direction rather than a fleshly initiative.

The Plague of Perfectionism

More often than not, we express perfectionism by trying to appear perfect. We know we don’t have it all together, but we’d sure like others to think we do. We see everyone else’s highlights through social media while we live in the reality of our own lowlights.

The perfect person does not exist, and trying to maintain that image leads to overwhelming negative consequences.

That same study described the problem of perfectionism as a plague. The idea that we can somehow eliminate all our problems through sheer force of will is dangerous. Maintaining an unhealthy expectation of perfectionism produces anxiety, depression, risky behavior and even suicide, studies show.

Counselors are reporting higher incidences of loneliness, and dieticians are seeing more cases of eating disorders and body dysmorphia.

Perfectionism comes in different forms: a perfect standard we try to live up to, the perfection we think others expect from us, and the impossible standard we place on others. When we make perfectionism the bar, we will continually disappoint ourselves and end up feeling hollow in the process.

Rethinking Perfectionism

You may not think you have a problem with perfectionism. You’re just trying to do your best and let God do the rest. But your commitment to excellence in spiritual growth can actually mean performing under your own power. When we put our own abilities before God’s enabling, we will fail.

Brené Brown has written extensively on the topic of unrealistic expectations, overwhelming shame and perfectionism. She writes in The Gifts of Imperfection, “Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”

Instead of perfection, let progress in your walk with the Spirit be your goal.

I have long struggled with perfectionism. I create a composite of the perfect self in my mind, the Chris who I can achieve on my own. He is smart and witty, well-liked and looked up to by all. He never messes up, always pays his bills on time, and never forgets to pick up the kids from school on Tuesday.

Some of these standards are easily achievable. But not all. And when I try to do everything perfectly, I end up failing miserably and feeling miserable.

Pastors are prime candidates for the plague of perfectionism. As ministers, we feel a constant pressure to preach impeccably inspiring and entertaining sermons. We push ourselves to lead our staff flawlessly. We pride ourselves in providing perfectly timed words of encouragement to those under our care.

Trying to score 100 percent on all those things every day will leave you drained and disappointed.

Three Things to Remember

The first step in tackling your perfectionism is admitting you have a problem. Admit you are not perfect — and never will be on this side of eternity. If you’re ready to put perfectionism behind you, here are three things to keep in mind:

No one is perfect except Jesus. Jesus was tested in all ways like we are, and He never failed. But the rest of us have made mistakes in our lives — no exceptions (Romans 3:23). We can’t do this on our own.

Only through the regenerative power of the Holy Spirit can we ever hope to grow spiritually. Instead of perfection, let progress in your walk with the Spirit be your goal.

No one expects you to be perfect at everything. You may be tempted to compare yourself with the composite image of every other pastor you know or read about. Imagine hearing from a pastor friend one day about how 100 people were saved at his church on Sunday. Then another minister shares about her successful foreign ministry work. After that, you read a report about a church that is planting four new campuses next year.

You might think you need to be perfect at everything, matching each of these ministries. Instead, focus on how God designed you. And then flourish in the place He planted you.

No one needs your perfection more than your presence. More than perfection, what people really need from us is our presence. They need us to show up and be who God empowered us to be. The members of your church don’t care if you mispronounce a word; they just need you to show up with the Word of God.

Your family isn’t looking for you to meet every need; they just want you present every day. God measures your life by the commitment in your heart to seek His presence.

God never lowered the standard, but He made a way for us to meet it through Christ’s sacrifice. In Matthew 5:48, Jesus said, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” However, we can only reach that perfection when we wholeheartedly give ourselves to the Perfect One, Jesus Christ.

It’s only through Jesus that our efforts matter anyway. Don’t strive for perfection under your own power. Thrive in the power of His grace daily.