When I was in junior high, I felt self-conscious about my tightly matted African hair. Each morning, I would gel my hair and comb it over with a side part, making it look as straight and flat as possible.

I adopted this style because I wanted to present myself more “professionally.” In my young mind, I associated professionalism with the look of a typical male television news anchor — Caucasian hair and all.

This amusing story illustrates a sobering truth: Young people feel pressure to conform to the dominant culture in which they live.

Black culture told me my hair was beautiful with all its curls and textures, but the dominant culture sent a different message. This created confusion. I wanted to live up to the dominant culture’s standards, so I learned to disapprove of my racial and ethnic culture.

Similarly, the students in our churches struggle with their identity as Christians in an increasingly secular world. America’s dominant culture is not always friendly toward authentic Christian counterculture. As a result, many teens and preteens worry that their faith in Jesus and the way they live is weird, unnatural, and maybe even immoral.

As leaders in the Church, we need to help our students become comfortable with who they are in Christ, just as I matured and became comfortable with my natural hair.

Christians are called to imitate God’s unchanging nature and character. Dominant culture compels people to imitate the popular ethics of the day, such as sexual deviance, self-promotion, and moral relativism.

There is no question dominant culture is influencing the identity of today’s youth. That culture tells them what to do and whom to be, and it’s often contrary to what Christ wants them to do and be.

But the Church doesn’t have to let the dominant culture lead the way. We need to practice an authentically Christian counterculture that forms a Christlike identity in all our members, but especially those of the next generation.

Set Apart

When God rescued the Israelites from slavery, He established them as His covenant people with a unique calling and culture. He provided instructions to help them understand who He is as God, who they were as His children, and how they were to live in light of that.

God set them apart from the dominant cultures around them, saying, “If you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession ... a kingdom of priests and a holy nation” (Exodus 19:5–6).

Likewise, the New Testament Church is described as “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession” (1 Peter 2:9).

Jesus called His followers to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13–16) — to be in the world but not of it.

In John 17, Jesus prayed these words over His disciples: “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth” (verses 15–17).

Five Culture-Building Practices

The only way to help students resist the identity misshaping power of the dominant culture is to help them form their Christlike identity in an authentically Christian counterculture.

Students need to know we accept them even before they accept Jesus.

In this way, we can guide students to be the best version of themselves, while existing in a world influenced by dominant culture.

Here are five practices for creating an authentically Christian counterculture:

1. Consistently teach and model Christian living. Authentic counterculture is cultivated only in consistent soil. Becoming a stable place in the lives of students — many of whom have no other stability — should be a goal of every youth group. Where there is stability, there is room for a student to seek identity from God.

This is a process that can take several years. It requires long-term discipleship and relational investments. We need to be there to help students through difficult times and celebrate the wins. If we want something repeated, we have to celebrate it.

2. Intentionally create biblical identity. This goes beyond appealing logos, social media pages, group names, and fonts. We must proclaim who we are and how we live in light of the gospel.

Good identity is not time-stamped or seasonal; it’s relevant forever. If we build on the foundation of God’s Word, our ministries will always be countercultural and relevant.

3. Lovingly identify the boundaries of how we live. It’s important to articulate our “don’ts.” Students need help finding the line and knowing when they wander outside to the deep end.

Help students understand that correction is not rejection of them but guidance arising from love. It’s vital that we draw boundaries from the teachings of Jesus, and not from society. This not only separates us from dominant culture but also helps us create a non-judgmental culture.

One of the main criticisms students hear from their unchurched friends is that Christians are judgmental. The best way to counter that is to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

4. Regularly discuss why we do what we do, and why we believe what we believe. Most students want to find answers, which is why their generation feels most comfortable living online. We need to welcome their questions and point them to biblical answers.

If we can’t answer the “why” questions, we will never be able to lead students through the “how” questions. The why is the vision for the how — how to live out and share the faith.

Take time in gatherings to explain why we have boundaries. Talk about what the Bible teaches about following Christ and why we can trust God’s Word as our guide for living.

5. Graciously let students belong before they believe. Students need to know we accept them even before they accept Jesus. The dominant culture pressures outsiders to conform. God’s people invite others to “taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8).

Jesus willingly died for us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). And He taught His followers to love all and pray for the good of all, including their persecutors (Matthew 5:44). Christian love is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:1).

Some may worry students will mistake acceptance for approval. However, sinners don’t need our approval. The dominant culture already provides that. They do need to encounter the love of Christ — a love that persists and pursues despite human rebellion.

We can trust the Spirit to convict and convince students. Our job is to show them who Jesus is, not shame them for who they are.

Let’s continue to help teens understand the differences between authentic Christian counterculture and dominant culture. Let’s help them discover their identity in Christ. Let’s regain the balance of culture by not letting the world be the only — or most attractive — voice in our students’ lives. Let’s cultivate healthy culture that changes the world, rather than letting the world change us and our mission. Let’s be the light.

This article appears in the January–March 2021 edition of Influence magazine.