Should you be transparent? Let people see the real you?

Personal transparency is absolutely necessary, especially among the members of this current generation. They want what’s real, not phony piety or pretentious perfection. Here’s the frank truth: Healthy, effective church leaders practice open and transparent honesty before God and others.  

Before God

King David writes, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).

There’s no better leadership prayer. Before God, you must be completely transparent. Tell Him everything. Giving God open access to secrets is vital for Spirit-empowered leaders. He knows all about you before you utter a word. And in spite of what He already knows, He loves you. Your honesty is for your sake, not His.

Transparency access: full.

Before Trusted Loved Ones

Leaders need private transparent relationships with their spouses and a few trusted friends. As recorded in Scripture, David and Jonathan had a deep and vulnerable friendship. Upon the news of Jonathan’s death, David tore his clothes and wept bitterly, saying, “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women” (2 Samuel 1:26).

Davids need Jonathans. Frequent, honest access cultivates a profound demonstration of love and confidence. Transparency is the window allowing others to see who you are.

Healthy, effective church leaders practice open and transparent honesty before God and others.

And when they really know you — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and still love you, you’ll know it’s authentic. Experiencing that kind of love helps you lead with health.

Transparency access: full.

Before Those You Lead

Although it is unwise to share your most intimate thoughts indiscriminately with a crowd, it is important, with discretion, to remain vulnerable and honest with the people you lead.

In his second letter to the Corinthian church, the apostle Paul does not gloss over the hard topics; he is appropriately candid. He lets the church see his pain and weakness. It is a model for all Christian leaders: We lead with a combination of resurrection power and the weakness of suffering. Paul writes, “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you” (2 Corinthians 6:11). When you stand before those you lead, let them into your life, but be prudent in so doing.

Transparency access: appropriate.

Before the Online World

In the age of social media, when people post anything and everything for the world to see, a wise leader will steer clear of sharing private details for public consumption. In other words, you shouldn’t display your private laundry for the world to read. Jesus said, “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6).

It’s not bold to hide behind a screen and post what you cannot say in person. It’s harmful. Invite a trusted friend to audit your public disclosure, especially when you feel tempted to vent in the name of transparency. Remember: Humility is attractive, but a lack of discretion is destructive.

Transparency access: guarded.

Final Verdict

So, should you be transparent? Let people see the real you?

Yes — astutely, but yes! 

This article originally appeared in the November/December 2018 edition of Influence magazine.