I love being in ministry with my husband. There is no greater joy than watching him step into a full-time ministry position, while the Lord supernaturally fills my heart with the same passion to see the church grow and flourish.

I have the unique privilege of knowing my husband’s desire and heart for the campus we lead. I believe God calls the family on a journey together. Whether it is ministry, parenting, or a business venture, the family shares in the blessings and responsibilities of that calling.

I am a pastor’s wife, a pharmacist, and a mother of three amazing boys. I also serve my church in a volunteer position. Life is full and fun — and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

The stereotype of what it means to be a pastor’s spouse is becoming a thing of the past. Women are thriving and living out their callings in the Church and in the marketplace. The wives — and husbands — of ministers often have busy lives and careers outside the church.

So, how can today’s churches equip, empower, and encourage the husbands and wives of those who are in full-time ministry? Becoming more sensitive to the following three areas would be a great start:

Individuality

Just as other members of the congregation have different gifts, abilities, and interests, pastors and their spouses are no exception.

I enjoy talking with people one-on-one, but unlike my husband, I am introverted by nature. That is why I am grateful for leaders who have encouraged me to serve in ways that align with my personality and gifts.

I serve on our church’s Connections Team, where I help people get connected to our volunteer areas. Interacting with new families soon after they begin attending the church has been a joy for me.

It is life-giving and energizing for people to find the right fit in serving. This is no less true for the spouses of pastors.

Seasons

There may be seasons when a pastor’s husband or wife can be highly involved in the week-to-week operations of the church, and other seasons when it’s necessary to take a step back.

As the mother of a newborn — as well as a second-grader and kindergartener who are doing school at home because of the pandemic — I am in the latter season.

Very few people are more invested in seeing the ministry succeed than the person who is married to the pastor.

I am still connecting with and encouraging people through phone calls, text messages, and social media, but I have scaled back my overall involvement. As much as I would like to do more, it is not possible given our current reality.

When churches take notice of such seasons, this can be a great blessing to a pastor’s family. Additionally, acknowledging and accommodating seasonal shifts can go a long way toward promoting the health of ministry families.

Expectations

Sometimes the church needs all hands on deck. A pastor’s spouse understands this and is ready to jump in so long as his or hers individuality and season of life are not overlooked.

Very few people are more invested in seeing the ministry succeed than the person who is married to the pastor.

A few years ago, we were going through a transition at our campus with our Atmosphere and Hosting Team. This was our largest volunteer team, and it was critical to keep this ministry moving forward without skipping a beat.

Because of the importance of this team and my unique platform of influence, church leadership approached me about overseeing this ministry. I was able to move into the role quickly, meeting the need and gaining meaningful experience. I formed close relationships with volunteers and their families that have lasted to this day.

After bringing strength and stability to this ministry area, we brought in another individual to take over this role while I transitioned to the Connections Team. I am grateful for each opportunity I have to help build the church.

As my husband stepped into a full-time ministry position at the church 10 years ago, the Lord called me too. That doesn’t mean we can’t pursue our callings in different ways, while holding up each other’s arms and cheering each other on.

My husband cannot be a pharmacist, but he cares for our kids and supports me in my vocation. I may not be the one giving the altar call on a Sunday morning, but I am doing what I can to help people begin their walk with Jesus. What we do, we do together!

Our individual callings are callings for the entire family. As a ministry family, we join hands and work wholeheartedly together toward what the Lord has for us. After all, we get to be a part of something that is making an eternal difference.

This article originally appeared in the November/December 2020 edition of Influence magazine.