Chances are, a fellow pastor has said something in a sermon you found offensive. Perhaps someone has even approached you after your message to let you know you said something offensive.

Most pastors get defensive at the idea of being offensive. But it’s never a good idea to intentionally offend your listeners when you preach the message of the gospel.

Recently a pastor made national headlines for a sermon on marriage. He told his congregation it is a wife’s responsibility to keep her husband’s attention, saying women should lose weight and start dressing nicer if they want their husbands to remain faithful.

The sermon sparked shock and indignation, and rightly so. It had little to do with marriage and nothing to do with the gospel of Christ.

Unfortunately, this pastor doubled down on his criticism of women. Rather than apologize for his thoughtless words, he dug deeper. I can only assume he thought being offensive was somehow part of being a pastor. He is clearly wrong.

Does This Offend You?

I’ve heard and read offensive words from pastors for as long as I’ve been in church. It goes without saying that offensive language, coarse joking, rude comments, and put-downs have no place in sermons. However, there are plenty of preachers who come up with excuses for it.

Some defend their words by saying, “I was only joking.” This is usually followed by a quick, “I’m sorry if you were offended.” That’s not really an apology at all. Instead, it’s a way to reframe the objection to blame the offended party.

Another excuse I often hear is, “Well, Jesus offended His listeners, so I’m just following His example.” But was that really the point of Jesus’ message? Was He purposely saying things to upset the crowds?

There were times when Jesus upset people because of what He had to say. At one point, some of His own disciples turned away and stopped following Him because they were offended at what Jesus had to say (John 6:60–66). Another time, Jesus confessed His message would cause division (Luke 12:49–53).

Paul later wrote that the Cross, the center of the gospel’s power, is offensive. In Galatians 5:11, Paul referred to the “offense of the cross.” Again, in 1 Corinthians 1:18, he said some would regard the gospel message as “foolishness.”

This was all prophesied long before when Isaiah spoke of the cornerstone, Christ, who would become a stumbling block (Isaiah 8:14–15).

So, it’s only right that our own preaching causes offense, right? If someone is offended, maybe we’re just following Jesus’ example. However, that’s wrong thinking because it doesn’t take into account Jesus’ full teaching on the subject.

In Matthew 10:22, Jesus warned, “You will be hated by everyone because of me” (emphasis added). And earlier, in the Sermon on the Mount, He said His followers are blessed when they are persecuted — but only when it’s for righteousness’ sake (Matthew 5:10–14).

Make sure your life and language are clear examples of what it means to be a follower of Jesus.

Those verses don’t suggest we should say offensive things just for the sake of causing offense.

A Better Way

There will be times when you say something that offends someone. In doing so, have you pointed people to Christ? Are you upholding righteousness? If so, your words may be godly, and any criticism may be unwarranted.

On the other hand, any bad reputation you get from off-color jokes or off-putting insults may be well-earned. How do we avoid the wrong kind of offense? Here are three simple suggestions:

1. Consider your listeners. If your joke offended people, what did they find irritating about it? If your message bothered someone, why? If your words were hurtful, what wound did they reveal? If you’re not sure, get to know your congregation.

Perhaps you didn’t take the time to think through what you said. Maybe you didn’t intend your words to come across the way they did, or you just didn’t expect people to take them seriously. Maybe you spoke off the cuff without evaluating the potential implications of your speech.

This is where it’s so important to be prepared before you preach. When you say something unscripted, it may not land well. So, prayerfully weigh the effects of your words long before you preach them.

2. Consider your goal. Another thing to keep in mind is why you are saying what you are saying. Is it only to get a laugh? Are you fishing for a compliment or applause? Maybe you’re just saying it to get attention, knowing controversy will generate buzz.

I’ve often heard preachers and other speakers try to soften the blow of something offensive by saying, “I’m not trying to be offensive.”

Here’s a tip: Any time you feel the need to say, “I don’t mean to sound sexist,” or “I’m not a racist,” just stop. The next words out of your mouth are likely either sexist or racist, and you know it.

Your goal as a preacher should be to glorify God. Anything that sidetracks from that position is only distracting from the gospel.

A preacher who makes the news for saying something offensive may have preached other sermons that point to Jesus. But the shocking, hurtful words — the ones that have nothing to do with Scripture — are what people will most likely remember.

3. Consider your example. What you say affects how others see you. Unfortunately, in today’s climate, one misspoken word can cause a lot of harm to our message. So consider your example as a preacher.

This is nothing new. Even Early Church members had to be careful about how they lived and what they said. The apostle Peter warned his congregation to “live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us” (1 Peter 2:12).

When you speak, you’re offering the world an example to follow. You are called to show people the way to Jesus Christ. Any words that cause offense can also cause detours of faith. If you do find yourself saying something hurtful, apologize quickly and without reservation.

At some point, you will likely cause someone to become angry over what you said. That goes with the territory as a preacher. But causing offense for the sake of the shock value won’t help the Church — and in the long run, it won’t help you either.

Instead, make sure your life and language are clear examples of what it means to be a follower of Jesus.