As a member of Generation X, I (Kara) got my first email account in college. My first home internet connection was so slow I could make breakfast in the time it took my modem to come online. Today, I can’t imagine my life without email. And waiting even 15 seconds for a Wi-Fi connection feels like an eternity.

I (Kristel) am a millennial, and the internet has always been a part of my everyday life. I used AOL Instant Messenger with friends in middle school. In high school, I took up blogging. During college, I discovered social media, using MySpace and Facebook for the first time.

Young people today are encountering social media much earlier than either of us did. By 13, many students have accounts on one or more social platforms, where they interact with other users, share details about their lives, and post personal videos and photos.

Access to such technology is not necessarily bad. Social media can help students interact with sports teammates off the field, keep in touch with grandparents and other family members who live many miles away, and even talk with peers about their faith.

Students may use social media to keep up with classmates during the summer break, stay connected with friends they met at youth camp, or read an announcement about an upcoming church event. They can find communities of people with similar interests, which may provide valuable opportunities to learn, grow and network.

However, because teenagers are still developing emotionally and mentally, they don’t always share and consume social media content wisely.

Scrolling through airbrushed photos and unrealistically perfect profiles can trigger self-image problems, eating disorders, and depression.

Young people are particularly vulnerable to online sexual predators. In addition, bullying is rampant on social media.

A 2018 Pew Research Center report revealed that a majority of U.S. teens (59%) had experienced cyberbullying, a quarter had received unwanted explicit images via digital media, and 16% had been the objects of physical threats online. Two-thirds of respondents said social media was not doing enough to combat such problems.

A lack of discretion on social media can lead to difficulties in the future as well. For example, companies and universities may check the social media accounts of applicants when making decisions about whom to hire or offer admission.

Finally, social media is a breeding ground for misinformation. Conspiracy theories and dangerous trends can lead students down the wrong path if they don’t have someone guiding them.

For all of these reasons, church leaders should take steps to help students learn appropriate boundaries. Navigating the digital world is hard enough for adults. It can be extremely difficult for teenagers who are still forming their identities and sense of belonging.

Youth leaders have a unique opportunity to influence students to make God-honoring choices wherever they go, including digital spaces. Below are three ways to guide young people in their social media use.

Talk About It

Ask students how they feel after logging off social media. Are they happy, sad, jealous, or anxious? Do they feel closer to God or more distant from Him after spending time on social media?

Help students create
a plan for their social media use that involves establishing healthy boundaries.

Listen respectfully to what students have to say. Then help them assess their feelings in light of biblical teaching. Ask them to consider what changes they might need to make for the sake of their mental health, spiritual growth, or Christian witness.

Remind students their emotions can indicate what is brewing beneath the surface. If social media is leaving them feeling depressed or anxious, it is a sure sign adjustments are in order.

Ask students what they are seeking online and what they hope to contribute to the social media world. Such discussions can lead to the development of strategies for navigating with greater intentionality, wisdom, and Kingdom purpose.

Start the discussion with this simple question: “What makes you want to show up on social media?”

Making room for students to process why they are on social media can be eye-opening for you and them. Some students may be looking for friendship online. Others may want to learn more about a particular topic. You can offer suggestions for ways to find what they’re looking for in a healthy manner — whether online or offline.

Share your own reasons for using social media or other digital tools. Also talk about boundaries you set for yourself online, such as adjusting privacy settings, turning down connection requests from people you do not know, safeguarding personal data, limiting how much time you spend on social media, and disengaging from conflict. This may help students think about issues they had never considered.

Talk honestly about lessons you’ve learned. Members of Generation Z appreciate authenticity.

Establish Boundaries

Help students create a plan for their social media use that involves establishing healthy boundaries. This plan should address how they will interact and with whom.

Work on the plan together. If possible, include students’ parents or guardians in this discussion. Holistic discipleship involves the entire family. Respect boundaries parents or guardians may have already established.

Listen to your students’ perspectives, while also reminding them of the importance of honoring and obeying the loving adults God has placed in their lives. Remind them of the apostle Paul’s words in Ephesians 6:1–3: “Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ — which is the first commandment with a promise — ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”

Help students see that instead of interacting with the virtual world carelessly, listening to godly instruction and prayerfully forming a plan will serve them now and in the future. Such boundaries are not meant to hold them back, but to keep them safe.

Ephesians 5:15 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise.”

Build Trust

Everyone has different reasons for using social media. Some see it as a fun space to unwind and laugh at memes. Others are looking to network or learn something new. Still others are simply longing for friendship and a place to belong.

Having conversations with your students about their social media use will help them navigate this space with greater clarity and intentionality. It will also help you know how best to minister to them.

Above all, build trust with your students on and off social media. They need to know you are a safe place, someone with whom they can share their thoughts and feelings — a friend and mentor who always desires God’s best for them.

As you build that kind of relationship with students, you will gain opportunities to speak into every area of their lives, including their social media activity.

This article appears in the Winter 2023 issue of Influence magazine.