Every pastor and leader have had moments and seasons when they felt like a failure. It might have been after an event that didn’t go as planned. It might have been after preaching a message that fell flat. Or it may have been during an extended season of decline, or after a major rift that created division or even your unforeseen departure.

Even if you’ve experienced a good measure of success, the last two years have likely tested your resolve. The global pandemic turned the world upside down, and we’ve undoubtedly felt like failures as progress came to a screeching halt and well-crafted plans were disrupted by closed doors, waves of spikes in COVID, and a general sense of fear across the globe.

So, how do you lead when you feel like a failure … even if it’s only for a moment? How do you lead when the uncontrollable circumstances of our world make us feel like failures? Let me offer three suggestions:

1. Remember Your Identity

Our identity can’t be based on circumstances. In fact, our identity can’t even be attached to performance. As followers of Jesus, our true identity is rooted in the love of God.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been studying God’s love in Scripture. Something that has amazed me is that the most common description of God’s love in the Bible is “unfailing love.” There are dozens and dozens of passages that describe the “unfailing love” of God.

For example, Psalm 36:7 says, “How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” And Psalm 52:8 says, “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.”

God’s love does not fail, even when we do. His love doesn’t fall short, break, or run dry. It is an everlasting love that stretches from generation to generation. And, as difficult as it is to believe in our western culture, our performance has nothing to do with the measure of God’s love for us.

Consider Jesus, for example. Luke 3:21-22 says, “When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.’”

Notice, the Father declared His love for the Son before Jesus even performed a single miracle. God’s love wasn’t based on Jesus’ performance. His love wasn’t dependent on whether or not Jesus had a big crowd or a fruitful day of ministry. The Father loved Jesus, and was pleased with Jesus, before His ministry ever began.

The same is true for you. Your identity is firmly rooted in the unwavering love of God. Even when you feel like a failure, your failure doesn’t define you. Jesus’ love does. If we fail to remember where our identity is rooted, we’ll let feelings of failure define our leadership.

As followers of
Jesus, our true
identity is rooted
in the love of God.

2. Reframe Your Perspective

Dr. Bobby Clinton has observed that the difference between followers and leaders is perspective. And the difference between leaders and better leaders is greater perspective. In other words, how we see life will determine how we respond to life.

If our perspective is off, our response to failure will also be off. But if we learn to reframe our perspective and view our circumstances, trials, hardships, and failures through the right lens, we’ll respond in healthier and holier ways.

Consider the alternative. Without proper perspective, we’re more likely to quit when the going gets tough. Without the right perspective, we’re likely to let our failures define us and our setbacks deter us. Without solid perspective, we’ll be prone to overact, exercise poor judgment, and even make our situation more difficult.

Elisabeth Elliot once said, “If you believe in a God who controls the big things, you have to believe in a God who controls the little things. It is we, of course, to whom things look ‘little’ or ‘big.’” Perspective helps you see things properly and respond appropriately.

3. Redefine Your Measure of Success

When drastic changes occur in our environment, it often requires us to redefine success. I think we’ve all had to come to grips with this during COVID. Our measure of success is so often tied to attendance, but COVID thrust us into an unpredictable environment that turned this measure on its head.

We must redefine success — both personally and organizationally. I’m not suggesting that we ignore attendance or settle for plateaus and decline. But I am challenging us to think deeper about what matters most. And I am encouraging all of us to evaluate the measures we use to determine personal success in our day-to-day lives.

Leading when you feel like a failure may mean it’s time to adjust expectations and come up with new measures for success. I’m not suggesting we adopt mediocrity as our new measure. Instead, do your measures of success need to be more deeply connected to changed lives? Do your personal measures of success need to be tied to the fulfillment of your personal life mission?

If you’re only “successful” when things are up and to the right, then what does that make you on all the other days of your life? A failure? If that’s true, we’ll spend our lives trying to “earn” God’s love and “perform” our way into His kingdom.

When you feel like a failure, pull back, reflect, and recenter your life. Begin by remembering your true identity. Give thanks to God for His unfailing love and celebrate the fact that you are unconditionally loved by God. Then, see your circumstances with new eyes. Adopt a perspective that is healthy, and view things from a big picture perspective.

Finally, consider if it’s time to redefine your measures of success. Do you need a measure that will endure the unpredictable ups and downs of life, ministry, and leadership? You’re not a failure, even when you feel like one. Instead, you are loved, and God will give you the strength and grace to lead through difficult seasons.