In a world saturated with fleeting connections and curated online personas, students are often more connected than ever before, yet simultaneously experiencing profound isolation. They have a quiet longing for something real, for authentic relationships, and for someone to truly see them, know them, and walk with them.

Students aren’t just looking for information; they’re looking for incarnation, the love of Christ lived out through us.

There are several ways to build those deeper relationships.

Be Present, Not Just Productive

We measure success by attendance numbers or program completion. But real relationship building requires a different metric: presence. It’s not about doing more for students, but being with them.

Jesus didn’t just teach; He lived among His disciples. The Lord shared meals with them, walked dusty roads with them, and sat in quiet moments with them.

This is putting down your phone when a student is talking. It’s seeking out moments where you can simply be with them, without an agenda beyond genuine care. True presence communicates value far louder than any perfectly planned activity.

Listen Deeply, Don’t Just Lecture

Students today are wrestling with complex questions about identity, purpose, and belief. They are often bombarded with conflicting narratives from culture, social media, and even their peers. In this environment, the Church’s first response shouldn't be to rush in with all the answers, but to lean in with open ears and an open heart.

Listening creates space. It tells students that their journey and story matters. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (ESV). Let’s create safe spaces where students feel heard without judgment, where their struggles are met with empathy before explanation.

Students aren't just looking for information; they’re looking for incarnation, the love of Christ lived out through us.

Model Authenticity, Not Perfection

The pressure to perform is immense for this generation. They see polished facades everywhere and can spot inauthenticity a mile away. If we want students to open up to us, we must first be willing to be real with them. This means modeling what it looks like to walk with God honestly, even when life isn’t perfect.

Share your own journey of faith, not as a highlight reel, but as a testimony of God’s faithfulness through trials. Admit when you don’t have all the answers, but point students to the One who does. Show them faith is not about having it all together, but about humbly depending on Christ.

Point to Christ, Not Just Principles

Ultimately, deeper relationships with students are not an end in themselves, but a means to a greater end: connecting them to Jesus. Our friendships and mentorships should always direct their gaze upward. We are not called to be their savior, but a shepherd pointing them toward the Living Water.

Every conversation, shared experience, and moment of guidance should reinforce the centrality of Christ. It’s about helping students understand their identity is in Him, their purpose flows from Him, and their hope is secure in Him. Our relationships become sacred vessels, carrying the good news of a Savior who intimately knows and deeply loves them.

Something More Enduring

The Church has the opportunity and obligation to offer something more enduring: a genuine connection rooted in the love of God.

When we build deep relationships, we are not just investing in individuals; we are investing in the future of the Church, ensuring tomorrow’s leaders know they are not alone, but deeply known and loved.