I once received a custom-made card that said, "Sometimes a leader comes along who sets a pace that allows the team to win." Pastor, are you setting a pace in your personal and professional life that will allow your marriage, family, staff and congregation to win? A long-distance runner who tries to maintain a sprint will often not finish the race; but one who charts his course and keeps a steady, deliberate pace will finish and win.

Ministry is demanding. Consider these scenarios: church activities scheduled every weeknight compel you to attend every event rather than trusting and empowering your staff and congregation with responsibility. Perhaps you’re in a building project, and although you’ve put in countless hours toward building completion, you feel the need to supervise every phase or feel guilty for spending a much-deserved evening at home. Perhaps you’re the minister who runs to the rescue of others without contemplating if the issue could be handled over the phone, delegated or scheduled for another day. Without careful thought and a consistent pace, you stand to lose a lot more than just the race.

YOUR PRIORITIES
What could be discovered about your priorities by examining your Day-Timer? Are you spending adequate time with the Lord? Anointed ministry flows from a vital relationship with Christ. Interact with God daily. He’s not as concerned with the size of your church, youth group or budget as He is with you.

The next relationship intended to produce energy in your life is your relationship with your spouse. How often have you heard regarding priorities, "God first, then my spouse, next my children, and then the ministry"? Is this in your Day-Timer? Plan a monthly date with your spouse — and keep it. Let your congregation know. A minister in Ohio did this and a woman told him, "Thank you, Pastor, for setting such a good example for our husbands."

So you’re a great communicator in the pulpit? Strive for meaningful, beneath-the-surface communication with your spouse.

As you plan your annual church calendar, be family-friendly. Preserve a night of the week with no scheduled church activities. Not only will you get a weekly family night, so will every family in your church. Also refrain from scheduling emotionally, financially and physically draining activities too close together.

If Jesus isn’t evident in your marriage and family, why would others want to follow Christ? They need to see that Jesus makes a difference.

As much as possible, keep regular office hours so your immediate family and your church family know when you are available to them. Be willing to flex your schedule when necessary. If you’re going to be at church late for your monthly board meeting, consider spending the morning with your spouse. Allow your staff the same privilege.

When you go home, leave your "pastor persona" at church. Your family doesn’t need another sermon; they need you — your unconditional love, friendship and affection. Turn solo activities into family activities. Is exercise a part of your daily routine? Walk, Rollerblade or bike as a couple or family. Cook with your spouse; wash the car with the kids. Laugh and talk together while you do it.

If the budget allows, take your dress shirts to the cleaners, pay for a housekeeper a few hours each week, or hire someone to maintain the lawn so you can have more time for family and less domestic distractions. Sure it’s a trade-off: less money in the budget, but more time for relationships.

Include your family in the work of the ministry as much as they desire and are able to participate. Make ministry an enjoyable family activity just as you would enjoy each others’ company at a ballgame. One pastor took his 3-year-old son on hospital visitation, and the patients enjoyed the child’s company as much as the pastor’s.

Keep the fourth commandment by observing a weekly day of rest. It’s not a feather in your cap to work on your day off (that includes doing church work at home). Take an annual vacation. Even if your budget cannot afford a long-distance trip, stay home and recreate with your family. What if you need time off, but your workaholic senior pastor forbids it? Perhaps the current situation will not change, but in your next ministry interview, share with the pastor and board your personal life mission and how that includes your family. Get the vacation policy in writing.

Throughout Scripture, God is called our Father. In the New Testament, Jesus is called our Bridegroom. The two most powerful relationships in our world are those of husband and wife, and parent and child. If God created these relationships and identifies himself in these roles, it’s obvious that He prioritizes those identities. We should too.

YOUR PARAMETERS
Set and lovingly communicate parameters to your church family to protect your family time, and encourage them to do the same. A good minister will always respond to legitimate emergencies, but it’s important to define an emergency. Be candid with your church about how they can expect you to respond to various crises. Your clearly communicated responses will diffuse misunderstandings before they develop, and often prevent the manipulation of your time.

A pastor in Tennessee cooks the family breakfast as a point of contact and communication before the day begins. Preserve mealtimes as family time and screen calls. Of course, pick up the phone in response to legitimate emergencies, but other calls can be returned.

YOUR PACE
If you live the life of a workaholic, consider the example you are portraying. What contribution does your example play into the breakdown of marriages within your congregation? Your life is the loudest sermon you’ll ever preach. Consider the example you set for young ministers on staff. You may be their first, close-up glimpse into the life of a minister. Is your pace one of burnout or long-term, effective ministry? What are they learning to replicate in their homes by your example? Will their marriages be strong as you hold them accountable to nurture that relationship? Or weakened because you expect an unrealistic workload?

Consider the minister who will one day follow you. If your self-imposed work expectations are unrealistic, the person who follows you will never measure up in the eyes of the congregation. Your pace becomes detrimental to long-term church ministry as they compare the work ethic of their new leader to yours.

If you’re too busy, you’re probably not delegating. Pastor, you’re not the only one who can do the work of the ministry. Trust and train people to coordinate and lead programs and events. Investing time in the training of others will not only save you hours, but fulfill Ephesians 4:11,12. People in your church desire to live lives of Kingdom significance. Let them.

YOU WIN, THEY WIN
The world today is desperate to see authentic, Christlike family relationships. If Jesus isn’t evident in your marriage and family, why would others want to follow Christ? They need to see that Jesus makes a difference. When you prioritize marriage and family, everyone comes out a winner — you, your spouse and children, your staff, your church family, and the world.