I’ll never forget the moment I realized how much I was missing.

Sitting at the dinner table with my family, I was answering work emails while my kids talked about their day. It seemed the more productive I was at church, the more problems there were to solve.

Opening my color-coded calendars, I checked to be sure I wasn’t overlooking anything important.

That’s when I became aware of my daughter’s voice: “Earth to Mom! Are you even listening to me?”

I froze, knowing I was mentally in my church office while physically at home. In truth, I wasn’t really present in either place.

Balancing the pressures of ministry and home responsibilities is challenging.

On its own, pastoring often feels like a juggling act involving flaming torches and watermelons. Add the demands of family life, and giving full attention to any one task — or person — can be a struggle.

One of the things that most strikes me about Jesus’ ministry is that He was always fully present. Whether teaching His disciples or welcoming little children, Jesus gave His undivided attention to the people in front of Him.

Ministry calls for emotional, mental and spiritual attentiveness. So do marriage and parenting.

What if we could become fully present in all areas of life without constantly feeling pulled in every direction?

Since that eye-opening dinnertime confrontation, I have cultivated some habits to help me stay in the moment.

I’m learning it’s possible to be fully present, without guilt or distractions, and with peace that comes from trusting God to help me manage it all.

Prioritize Relationships

The only way to build and nurture a meaningful relationship — whether with God, a preteen child, or a congregant — is through genuine connection.

Relationships don’t form in isolation, but in an atmosphere of presence and attentiveness.

Meaningful connections require empathetic listening — not only hearing, but also understanding the emotions and experiences of others. Such connections can happen around a dinner table, in the car on the way to school, or during a special night out.

Care and compassion foster trust and create bonds that go beyond surface-level interactions.

Distractions, on the other hand, act as barriers, robbing us of precious opportunities for authentic connections.

Manage Stress

Stress can quickly take us out of the moment. Overthinking causes anxiety and diverts our attention from the present.

By replaying events of the day or agonizing over the week ahead, we often miss what God would have us experience now.

No wonder Jesus said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

Maintain Focus

Being fully present means focusing on one task at a time — whether cheering on a soccer team, spending quality time with a parent, or preparing a sermon.

During conversations, focus makes it easier to notice internal feelings and the reactions of others, boosting emotional intelligence.

In our relationship with God, focusing on Him and His promises strengthens faith. James 1:8 says a double-minded person is “unstable in all they do.”

By staying present, we cultivate the kind of mental and emotional stability that allows us to respond with clarity and wisdom in all areas of life.

Practice Quitting

When it comes to ministry, I’ve learned to practice quitting — not by resigning or walking away, but through constantly evaluating whether I’m operating within God’s plan.

Being fully present means focusing on one task at a time
— whether cheering
on a soccer team, spending quality time with a parent, or preparing a sermon.

If I’m spread too thin, I can’t be fully present. The good news is no one person is supposed to do all the work in a church.

The biblical model is a body comprising many members, with each one utilizing his or her gifts to serve the others (Romans 12:4–8; 1 Corinthians 12:12–31). When we come together in this way, the whole body grows in maturity (Ephesians 4:11–13).

By design, no one should carry the entire burden of ministry. It’s only through working together — recognizing we each have something to contribute — that we truly model the kingdom of God in action.

Over the years, a number of people have asked me, “How do you do it all? How do you manage the responsibilities of the church without neglecting your family?”

I love these kinds of questions. They give me an opportunity to explain that I don’t do it all — and that’s OK. My job is to equip, train, and empower others to use their gifts. That way, we can all share in the work of ministry.

When I quit doing the things God intends others to do, I can focus on being present with the people He has called me to serve, including my family members.

First Peter 4:10–11 says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms … so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.”

Choose Gratitude

At home and in ministry, the most valuable moment is the one you are in right now.

It’s easy to get caught up in future goals, to-do lists, or past events, while failing to appreciate the beauty of today.

When we receive the present moment as a gift from God, we can declare with the Psalmist, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24, ESV).

This perspective shifts our focus from what’s ahead or behind to where we are currently.

No matter how small or mundane a task may seem, do it for God’s glory (1 Corinthians 10:31). Whether rocking a baby or counseling a parishioner, be grateful for every opportunity to love, serve, and experience the life God has given you.

It might seem like an oversimplified approach, but there’s immense power in this mindset.

A grateful heart acknowledges that the present moment is valuable and worthwhile. It honors God and allows His peace and joy to permeate every hour of every day.

Thankfulness invites God’s presence into our daily lives, transforming ordinary moments into holy ones.

Set Boundaries

In an age of constant distractions, being present requires setting some boundaries.

This includes preventing electronic devices from interrupting meaningful interactions. Turn off notifications when needed, and set boundaries that allow you to focus on what’s in front of you.

Practice a weekly sabbath to reset and prioritize rest and connection.

Maintain an eternal perspective, always remembering what matters most: loving God and the people He places in our lives (Mark 12:30–31).

Practicing intentional presence creates space for deeper connections and demonstrates Christ’s love wherever we are.

When we make the effort to be fully present, each day becomes more meaningful.

This article appears in the Spring 2025 issue of Influence magazine.