Four Reasons Many Men Are Avoiding Church
And how to bring them back
You may have noticed there are more women than men in church. In fact, just 31 percent of adult men in the U.S. attend religious services weekly, compared to 40 percent of women, according to Pew Research Center. And 35 percent of men seldom or never attend services, compared to 26 percent of women.
If we hope to draw more men to church, we may need to make some changes. Here are four reasons men may be staying away from church — and what leaders can do about it:
1. Church Has Become Too Soft
Some men feel that church caters to women at their expense. For instance, pastors may focus mostly on the relational or nurturing characteristics of God. While God is both relational and nurturing, men may be more comfortable with images of God as a warrior who wants to strengthen their faith.
One way to address this issue is to talk about the goal-oriented aspects of faith. For instance, sermons about the cost of discipleship can help men see how Christianity is still the adventure of a lifetime.
2. Church No Longer Seems Relevant
Preachers can make the mistake of assigning all their illustrations to one group in the church. If your messages constantly make reference to home life or family relationships, they may fail to connect with many of the men in your community.
Make sure the musical selections, and the other elements of your service, are equally appealing to men and women.
Think through the challenges most men face every day, regardless of whether they have spouses or children. Address these issues in your messages. For instance, most men — and women — would welcome a series on the theology of work, showing how their Monday-through-Friday routines can include Jesus.
3. Church Worship Is Too Sensitive
Do your worship songs tend to sound more like romantic love themes? Do the lyrics focus mostly on topics like love and beauty? There’s nothing wrong with those things. In fact, they are biblical. But so are topics like strength and power and courage, which more typically appeal to men.
Make sure the musical selections, and the other elements of your service, are equally appealing to men and women. That doesn’t mean you should change every song. But you do need to seek a balance.
4. Church Has No Place for Them
Women’s ministries seem to be everywhere. But a good men’s group can be hard to find. When your church doesn’t have anything specifically for men, they may feel there’s no place for them.
You can’t solve this problem overnight. And just offering an annual retreat is not the solution, only a temporary help. Start by asking the men who already attend your church what they want. It may be options to hunt or play sports together. Or it could be a weekly Bible study. Begin there, stay consistent, and you’ll soon find a growing space for men.
The future of the church is bright, especially as we take steps to reach more people for Christ. That includes welcoming men — and providing a place where they are comfortable, maturing in their faith, and experiencing the Holy Spirit.
Influence Magazine & The Healthy Church Network
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