During a recent network youth event in Oregon, a student asked, “How do I talk to my gay and transgender friends about Jesus?”

Another sought advice on dealing with hostility toward Christians at her school.

These questions were less common a decade or two ago. Now youth pastors regularly field such inquiries.

Christian young people often feel like strangers in a foreign land. Today’s teens are navigating cultural norms that are increasingly at odds with biblical teaching. In many ways, it seems we are discipling a generation in exile.

Despite the challenges they face, many students are eager to live authentic, faith-filled lives, share Christ’s love, and make a positive difference in the world.

How can we, as youth leaders, equip them to flourish in exile and seek the good of their communities (Jeremiah 29:7)?

Live the Word

At the beginning of his prophetic ministry, Ezekiel consumed the scroll containing God’s words (Ezekiel 3:1–3).

Afterward, God told Ezekiel, “Go now to your people in exile and speak to them. Say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says’” (3:11).

As youth leaders, we have a responsibility to teach God’s message. However, this assignment starts with personal commitment and preparation. After all, we can’t share what we aren’t studying, consuming and living.

Pursue theological training by enrolling in a degree program or taking continuing education courses. Some districts/ministry networks offer Bible classes for individuals working toward ministry credentials.

Engage with quality books, podcasts, study Bibles, and commentaries that provide theological insights.

Include older materials in your reading list. Many writings from church history remain relevant, compelling, challenging and encouraging.

Block out significant time throughout the week for solitude, prayer, Bible study, and worship. Develop a regular habit of fasting.

Talk to students about what God is revealing to you during these times.

Don’t just preach to young people. Show them how God’s Word is shaping you, and teach them to study and apply it to their own lives.

Know the Culture

Discipleship doesn’t happen in a vacuum, but within a cultural context.

Don’t assume the latest youth ministry trends will work in your setting. You must get to know your place of ministry if you hope to “seek the peace and prosperity of the city” (Jeremiah 29:7).

Do a series of anonymous surveys throughout the year, asking students about their struggles, challenges, questions, and spiritual needs.

Bring together a focus group of teens and adults to report on what is happening in the community and what young people are talking about.

Spend time in coffee shops and other public spaces, where you can interact with people from all walks of life.

Volunteer regularly in local public schools and community organizations. Talk with teachers, students, and parents from inside and outside your congregation.

Set a Table

Whether enjoying a meal, sipping coffee, or playing board games, people come together around tables.

Despite the challenges they face, many students are eager to live authentic, faith-filled lives, share Christ’s love, and make a positive difference
in the world.

In an age of loneliness, anxiety, and family dysfunction, students need this kind of fellowship more than ever.

Once a month before your weekly main gathering, host a meal for students and any guests they bring. Recruit parents, grandparents, and other volunteers to help with preparation.

Use discussion prompts such as, “Do you have questions about the Christian faith? What is a challenge you are currently facing? What are you learning or discovering about God?”

Encourage teens to gather around tables on their own as well — in schools, homes, and other spaces. Provide discussion questions they can work through during these table times.

Christian fellowship and friendship have always been part of the gospel proclamation. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).

Welcome Questions

Against a cultural backdrop of tribalism and division, welcoming outsiders and encouraging dialogue can be disarming.

During Bible studies, build in ample time for questions and answers.

Prompt deeper reflection and discussion by asking questions like, “How would you have felt in Jonah’s situation?”

Host ask-anything nights, where teens can pose questions (in person or through an anonymous platform) and even express their doubts without judgment.

It’s OK for leaders not to have all the answers. Students can appreciate the honesty of an adult saying, “I don’t know.”

God is great and mysterious. The prophet Isaiah acknowledged the Lord’s ways and thoughts as higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8–9). The apostle Paul declared God is “beyond tracing out” (Romans 11:33).

There’s no shame in confessing, “Only God knows.”

Encourage students to seek the Holy Spirit, who guides Christ’s followers into truth (John 16:13).

Invite Response

Students inhabit a world that often feels noisy, rushed and contrived. Many are eager for opportunities to slow down and encounter the living God.

Answering an altar call is not the only way to do that, of course. But there is something powerful about individually and collectively responding to God’s presence with worship and surrender.

Open up the youth space for an extended time of prayer and worship prior to the main gathering.

Conduct a monthly or quarterly prayer and worship night. Partner with other local youth groups for a time of praise, prayer, and public reading of Scripture.

As an altar response, ask students to write down what the Holy Spirit is saying to them and what steps they plan to take. Have them gather in groups of three or four to share their thoughts and pray together.

Encouraging a response to God is the heart of exilic discipleship. Psalm 147:1–3 says, “How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him! He gathers the exiles of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Build Real Connections

Many parents and youth leaders are understandably concerned about excessive screen time among teens.

However, pastors can utilize technology as a bridge for creating authentic connections. Whatever we do on social media should direct students to engage with peers and leaders in person.

For example, an online Bible study, devotional, or discussion might be an entry point for students inviting friends to attend an in-person service or event.

Offer prizes as incentives for students sharing online posts inviting friends to youth events.

Social media content can spark face-to-face discussions. After showing a viral video, a small group leader might ask what narrative it promotes and what the Bible has to say about the topic. This teaches students to maintain a biblical worldview in digital spaces.

If you feel like you are discipling in exile, take heart. As Paul told the Galatians, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

Cultural influences are potent, but the Holy Spirit who is working in the lives of students is infinitely more powerful. You have the privilege of pointing young people to Jesus and demonstrating His love and grace right where you are.

As “foreigners and exiles” in a world that often seems strange, God calls us to live and minister in such a way that others will notice and glorify Him (1 Peter 2:11–12).

This article appears in the Winter 2025 issue of Influence magazine.