Years ago, my parents noticed some unhealthy patterns in the new church they were attending.

Upon trying to talk with the pastor, my father quickly got the message that his questions were not welcome.

One day, a congregant who worked for the telephone company was testing lines near the church. He overheard that pastor having an inappropriate conversation with the church secretary.

As more details came to light, the pastor ultimately lost his ministry and marriage. My father’s concerns about the leader’s behavior and lack of accountability suddenly made sense.

I’ve often wondered whether that minister’s downfall could have been avoided if he had been more open to feedback. As my parents later recalled, one of the pastor’s favorite admonitions was, “Touch not mine anointed” (1 Chronicles 16:22; Psalm 105:15, KJV).

That Old Testament phrase refers to God’s care for Israel. But many church leaders through the years have misused it to suggest they are beyond scrutiny. The message essentially becomes, “At this church, we don’t question our pastor.”

Guiding Principles

Most pastors are grateful for helpful questions arising from pure motives.

Sure, it can be awkward when conversations feel confrontational. If there are unfair allegations or premature judgments, it is draining and discouraging. Still, pastors should never set themselves up as somehow immune from accountability.

Scripture provides a helpful framework for navigating negative feedback. Following are five principles to keep in view.

1. Encourage respectful communication. Cultivate an atmosphere of love, honor, and grace for leaders and laity alike.

As the apostle Paul told Timothy, “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching” (1 Timothy 5:17).

2. Assume a humble and prayerful posture. Even the apostles knew they needed God’s help in leading honorably and communicating effectively (Ephesians 6:18–20; Colossians 4:2–4; Hebrews 13:17–18).

Rather than becoming defensive in the face of criticism, ask congregants to join you in seeking God’s wisdom and guidance for the church.

3. Remain open to correction. Acts 15 provides an excellent example of church leaders working through a significant dispute. Those insisting on circumcision for Gentile converts were in the wrong, and frank discussions became necessary.

In the end, flexible attitudes amid challenging discussions led to a decision that was agreeable for everyone. The resulting unity inspired joy and opened a door for the gospel’s spread among Gentiles.

4. Proceed appropriately. Matthew 18:15–20 calls for a discreet conversation before complaining to others. Although this passage isn’t specifically about confronting a leader, it can be a helpful template.

Private discussions may reveal simple misunderstandings that are easily resolved. Conversely, when issues spread prematurely into gossip and speculation, speedy resolution becomes more difficult.

Nevertheless, a more direct approach is sometimes in order. In Galatians 2, Paul publicly confronted Peter for discriminating against Gentile believers. Notably, Peter’s subsequent ministry among Gentiles was highly effective and included his praise of Paul’s teaching style (2 Peter 3:15–16).

With the right support systems in place, the easier we make it for concerns to reach our ears, the better.

Churches need established norms for handling concerns. The larger the church, the less practical it is for the lead pastor to meet with every parishioner who complains. Consider creating a system for addressing problems and passing feedback up the chain of authority.

Even in smaller churches, pastors may want to clarify protocols for arranging meetings or communicating matters of importance.

When it comes to accusations of wrongdoing against a church leader, hearing from multiple witnesses is the biblical standard (1 Timothy 5:19). This prevents overreacting to one individual seeking to disrupt and divide.

However, when the allegation involves serious matters such as sexual impropriety, even a single accusation merits attention. If the alleged offense constitutes a crime, church leaders should notify the police.

5. Correct errant teaching and unethical practices. As examples in the Early Church demonstrate, heeding correction can enhance ministry.

Promptly address issues with staff members and volunteers that call for correction.

While minor concerns may be resolved privately, ongoing sinful offenses by church leaders must be dealt with publicly. Exposing misbehavior and explaining the church’s response helps avoid any appearance of favoritism and serves as a lesson to the entire congregation (1 Timothy 5:20).

Negative Fallout

I have witnessed the unfortunate consequences of pastors refusing to receive corrective counsel from fellow church leaders.

Some pastors tune out months or even years of negative feedback concerning their strong-handed tactics or unhealthy demeanors. A reluctance to listen sometimes results in church boards asking for their resignations.

I’ve also seen pastors challenge boards for reaching that conclusion in their absence. This was both a red herring and a red flag. Board members were treated as though their overdue decision was on par with the long-term patterns of unethical pastoral leadership they were addressing.

“Sure, I made bad choices, but so did you,” the pastor might say. “Let’s just start from scratch, OK?”

In the end, desperate attempts at manipulation removed any doubts that these board members had made the right decision.

God’s Plan

Pastors and church leaders are wise to maintain a position of openness toward questions and correction. With the right support systems in place, the easier we make it for concerns to reach our ears, the better.

Direct, respectful conversations extinguish a lot of small fires. In many cases, a fair hearing of each person’s perspective is all it takes to correct misunderstandings.

Even if someone is just trying to stir up trouble, a meeting can help church leaders get ahead of the problem. A united front is the best response to congregants who consider nitpicking a spiritual gift.

Don’t dismiss a critique without hearing it out, though. Consider the tremendous benefit of leaders entertaining criticism that came to the Early Church in Jerusalem (Acts 6:1–7).

The apostles became unintentionally negligent as Hebraic widows were prioritized over Greeks. Advocates for Greek widows felt slighted and registered a complaint.

Church leaders could have waved off the grumblings and told the Hellenists they were reacting inappropriately. They could have said, “We don’t talk about Pastor Peter like that.”

Instead, church leaders employed careful listening and instituted meaningful changes. Leaders acknowledged they had caused an offense and took steps to address the problem.

As a result, the laity felt heard and cared for by their elders, which sparked true healing and unity. Further, the exercise propelled church elders into powerful new spiritual opportunities.

The ensuing shift launched a rapid revival that won many converts to the Lord, including Jewish priests.

This is the beauty of Christian correction, even when it puts us as church leaders on the receiving end. Openness to reasonable questions and criticism — and willingness to handle those issues scripturally — introduces new levels of joy and fulfillment in pastoral ministry.

This article appears in the Summer 2024 issue of Influence magazine.