This article originally appeared in the October/November issue of Influence magazine.

Think about the last time you said or did something you later regretted. Maybe it was a broken promise, an unmet deadline or a new ministry initiative that failed.

Mistakes are emotional!

With each mistake, your emotional pulse rate increased as feelings of shame, embarrassment or disappointment flooded your heart.

Questions of "what if" and "if only" riddled your mind like an avalanche of accusations and condemnation. We hate to fail. And when we fail as leaders, we're usually not the only ones to pay a price.

The same is true on a team. Mistakes have a ripple effect. But the impact of a mistake is exponentially worse when a team member fails to own it. Mistakes move from emotional to debilitating when people hide behind walls of denial and blame.

No one is perfect. Every person on your team - including you - has a record of failure. It's the price we pay for progress. And since we can't erase our mistakes, we have to own them.

As leaders, our job is to create a team environment in which it's safe to fail but not acceptable to dodge responsibility. We have to create a positive, life-giving culture without turning a blind eye to disowned mistakes. How can you help your team admit mistakes without becoming defeated, demoralized or disengaged? Here are three strategies to get you started.

Establish Clear Expectations
Before your team will own mistakes, they must first own expectations. Until you clarify your expectations, your team has nothing to own, and you have nothing to which you can hold people accountable. It's hard to admit a mistake if you don't know what's expected of you. 

Expectations should include performance goals (specific, measurable and time-bound ministry objectives); personal growth goals (addressing spiritual, mental, relational and physical growth); leadership competencies (essential skills for effective leadership); and cultural DNA (the church's unique vision, values and culture).

Setting expectations keeps your team from guessing what's important to you. It eases tension and establishes a unified effort toward a shared vision. Once these expectations are established for each member of your team, set quarterly meetings to evaluate their progress, give encouragement, provide coaching and celebrate wins.

Create a Culture of"Candor and Care"
At 7 City Church, we've established Internal Operational Values (IOVs) that define how our staff operates. IOVs speak into the culture we want to create. One of these values is "candor and care." 

We say, "We communicate with candor and care about our ideas and realities."

Whenever I hire a new staff member, I spend extra time communicating this value because it's so important to our ability to make forward progress. Candor and care allow us to tell it like it is without demeaning or disrespecting fellow team members. When we're candid about our ideas and willing to face harsh realities, we prevent bureaucracy and dysfunction from setting down roots in our culture.

Candor and care is a balancing act between truth and grace. We don't always get it right, but we've created an environment where accountability and safety coexist.

Set Limits and Consequences
What do you do if the first two strategies don't work? Occasionally, you'll have a team member take extreme measures to avoid owning a mistake. This is unfortunate, but it cannot be ignored. 

In his book Necessary Endings, Henry Cloud describes three types of people found in Scripture: the wise person, the fool and the evil person. Each of these people requires a different response when mistakes happen.

Because wise people are receptive to feedback and correction, they take ownership of areas where they need to grow. Talking helps the wise person see the light and make improvements. 

At the other extreme, Cloud says evil people are bent on destroying you. Unfortunately, because of their extreme behavior, legal action is sometimes necessary.

The fool is in the middle. Rather than adjusting to the truth, the foolish person adjusts the truth. A fool is defensive, casts blame, resists feedback and rarely owns his or her mistakes. What makes it difficult is that fools are often high performers.

To address the fool's behavior, Cloud recommends setting "limits and consequences." If limits don't work, set consequences so the fool feels the pain of his or her own mistakes.

One final point: Be careful not to shift into "suspicion" mode. Your job is not to sniff out every mistake your team makes.

Believe in people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Mistakes are a normal part of life and leadership. Every team will experience its fair share. When people are willing to admit their mistakes, it's a sign you are moving in the right direction.