In 2005, a church layman named David Murrow wrote a book titled Why Men Hate Going to Church. The title alone encouraged me to purchase the book, but the content changed my life.

Murrow suggests that most American churches have unintentionally designed their ministries to reach only women, children and the elderly. According to Assemblies of God statistics, men and boys constitute 44.9 percent of adherents, while women and girls account for 55.1 percent. Compare those percentages to the 2010 U.S. Census, which found that the U.S. population is 49.1 percent male and 50.9 percent female.

In 2010, when my family and I planted Coastal Church in Daphne, Alabama, we intentionally designed the church to appeal to men in as many areas as possible. As we studied and created the environment, we discovered that churches win men by helping men win.

Here are three ways to help men win.

Feed Them

I live on the Gulf Coast, where food breaks down many barriers. Food helps people relax, and serving good food is a tradition we value in Southern culture. As a boy, I always felt hungry during church, and I quickly realized I wasn’t alone. One Sunday, my Uncle Larry’s stomach growled so loudly during the service people in at least three pews around us probably heard it.

At Coastal Church, we serve free food and coffee every Sunday, at every campus. We serve everything from biscuits and gravy to breakfast casserole, and 70 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. We also serve a healthy option, but let’s be honest: I live in the Deep South, so no one eats it.

When men thank us for the free food, we have a great opportunity to show them a return on their investment, replying, “You’re welcome, but honestly, you paid for it through your tithe and offering.”

Our men love this response because they feel satisfaction in providing for others. So not only does serving free food lower barriers by helping men feel comfortable during service, but it also provides a healthy feeling of ownership.

Keep It Clear

When someone invites men to church, they often say something like: “If I come, you guys aren’t going to do anything that will make me feel awkward, will you? Because I don’t have time for that.”

Churches win men by helping men win.

Murrow says, “Most men do not possess the natural gifts to make a good churchgoer. They are not expressive, verbal, sensitive, don’t sing well, are not good teachers, don’t feel comfortable praying out loud, and hate holding hands with strangers.”

Putting men at ease clearly begins with showing them where to go when they arrive on your campus. We believe a church can never have too much signage. Men hate asking for directions. Clear signage helps them avoid awkward situations and unwanted attention.

Not only do we show visitors where to go, but we also help them learn what to do. Our worship leaders coach attendees on how to participate. We have found that saying, “Let’s clap our hands” or “Let’s lift our hands” helps engage everyone in the service.

Give Men a Reason to Come Back

It’s been our experience that few people, especially men, give their lives to Jesus during the first visit. Therefore, getting them to return is a priority.

When we do everything we can to help men relax throughout the service, we have already won some major victories by the time the sermon starts. So finally, we must connect men through the message. For our church, the delivery style isn’t as important as keeping the message short and relatable.

We design the sermon notes so that men can easily follow along and know when the finish line is coming. When men feel confident the sermon will be brief, they are more likely to come back. I have been in church my whole life, and I have never heard anyone complain that a pastor’s sermons were too short.

I have also learned that personal stories are more relatable when I poke fun at myself rather than trumpeting my achievements. Laughing at my shortcomings makes it easier for men to identify with the message and open up about their own flaws.

Last year, 2,415 people — more than half of them men — gave their lives to Jesus across our three campuses. God is helping us help men win by reaching them with the gospel.

How is your church doing in reaching men? You don’t have to do exactly what we do, of course. But you do need to determine what things will help you reach the men in your community. I believe with all my heart that men want to engage with God as much as anyone else.

We clearly see in the Gospels how Jesus’ strong leadership, blunt honesty, and bold action mesmerized men. In the Book of Acts, men were drawn like a magnet to the Early Church. As church leaders, we must step in and help our men win.

This article originally appeared in the August/September 2017 edition of Influence magazine.