A few months after moving into family student housing at Valley Forge Christian College (now the University of Valley Forge) in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, we learned our 9-month-old son, Micah, had developmental delays.

Our pediatrician recommended early intervention services to help Micah learn to walk and talk and develop his motor skills.

When he was 2, Micah had a seizure. A series of tests and scans revealed abnormalities in his brain. Doctors admitted they did not know what life with Micah would be like as he grew.

As a young couple preparing for pastoral ministry, dark clouds of uncertainty hung over our future. Yet we knew God had called us.

We became part of a group we never expected to join: the disability community. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 6 children has a developmental disability.

While shuttling Micah to appointments, we interacted with many of the same families each week and learned about their challenges and triumphs.

We saw these parents and kids in the waiting rooms of doctors and physical therapists. Sometimes we encountered them at the hospital. However, we rarely saw them at church.

Many congregations are unprepared to include and care for people with disabilities. Consequently, families like ours often feel unwelcome in church.

Disability ministry is not optional. Because disability affects every community, such ministry is needed and vital.

Realizing this only strengthened our resolve to pursue God’s calling. If the Lord could use our journey to reach hurting people, we were all in.

Balancing the demands of ministry and the strain of caring for a child with special needs is difficult, but it is certainly worthwhile.

If that’s your situation, you are not alone. You have a unique opportunity to share with your congregation and community the joys and challenges of this faith walk.

Over the past 23 years with Micah, we’ve discovered several essentials for persevering — and even flourishing — in our dual calling as a special needs and ministry family.

Gratitude

You probably don’t hear it often, but congratulations on the God-given gift of your child.

When parents become aware of a child’s disability, crisis mode kicks in. There is often little time to appreciate and celebrate the joys of parenting.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” Children are a gift, regardless of disability.

This is not to diminish the challenges that lie ahead, but starting from a place of gratitude will change how you see God, the situation, and your child.

It will also set the tone for how congregants treat people with disabilities in your church and community.

Surrender

God knew what was ahead when He called you into ministry, and He will give you grace for the journey.

We had to face the reality that our child’s disability wasn’t something to fix, but rather something to accept and then surrender to God.

This meant doing what we could for Micah and trusting the Lord with details beyond our control.

Through that process, we continually experienced God’s grace in our family and ministry.

There is no ideal manual for raising a child with special needs. Every situation is different. Most parents learn as they go.

Releasing the unknowns to God frees us to love and accept our children just as they are, even as we help them learn and grow.

Resources

Don’t be afraid to use the resources available to you.

Utilizing early intervention services — like occupational, physical, and speech therapies — does not indicate a lack of faith. On the contrary, it’s stewarding what God has already provided for your child.

God knew what was ahead when He called you into ministry, and He will give you grace for the journey.

During the early years of Micah’s life, we invested hours weekly in helping him learn to walk. We are forever grateful for the professionals who made those first steps possible.

The faith community is another resource. As the body of Christ, God calls us to carry one another’s burdens.

People from our church family came alongside us when we most needed them. We graciously received their help and words of encouragement.

Allow individuals and families in your congregation to both suffer and rejoice with you (1 Corinthians 12:26).

Offer resources to others by starting a disability ministry in your church. This will also help congregants learn how to welcome and include families like yours.

Perspective

Life with Micah has increased our eternal perspective. We are keenly aware of the already, not yet aspect of Christian faith.

We already have access to God’s grace, but we still await the day when God will wipe away every tear (Revelation 21:4).

Disability affects our family daily, but we have also witnessed divine healing in our son’s life.

After Micah’s first seizure at 2, we took him to the elders of our church and prayed for him (James 5:14). Micah went 14 years without another seizure.

Throughout Scripture, we see heroes of the faith experiencing what might have been disabilities. Moses had a speech impediment. Jacob walked with a limp after wrestling with God. Paul had a thorn in his flesh.

In His encounter with a paralyzed man in Mark 2:5–12, Jesus first forgave the man’s sins and then healed his body. Jesus used this moment to emphasize that His authority to forgive sins is greater than physical healing because salvation is eternal.

By maintaining an eternal perspective, your family can point hurting people to the hope of heaven.

Forgiveness

One of the most difficult aspects of raising a child with special needs is the inability to shelter him or her from a world that often sees differences as deficiencies.

Micah is usually aware of rude treatment from others, but he also has an amazing capacity to forgive. Over the years, we’ve learned to follow Micah’s lead.

Because of his developmental disability, Micah has few social inhibitions. He’s not afraid to hug someone in public, whether a police officer, sanitation worker, or stranger in the airport. Micah claps, cries, laughs, and loves freely.

Micah has taught us to let go of grudges and love others without limits (Matthew 18:21–22).

Release your pain and fears to God. Ask Him to help you forgive those who have hurt you or your child — and to demonstrate His love and grace through your life, family, and ministry.

Rest

Caring for a child with a disability can be all-encompassing. At some point, exhaustion hits even the strongest and most energetic among us.

This fatigue often manifests as frustration, anger and discouragement. It can even lead to depression if not addressed.

Look for simple ways to alleviate some daily pressures. Prep the slow cooker before weekend services. Plan overnight getaways with your spouse. Help each other take a day off to recharge.

Spend quality time with your children who don’t have disabilities. They need your attention, too.

There will be seasons when rest seems impossible, but including down time in your daily routine is a must. Even if it’s just a 20-minute prayer walk or relaxing soak in the bathtub, taking a break is crucial.

Raising a child with special needs is tough. Doing so while engaged in full-time ministry can be especially challenging.

Yet over the past two decades, we have learned that a diagnosis isn’t the whole story.

God has a plan and purpose — for you, your family, and your ministry.

This article appears in the Winter 2025 issue of Influence magazine.