You don’t have to be in leadership for long to realize that criticism comes with the territory. People have opinions, and they’re not afraid to share them. That was certainly the case for Nehemiah.

While Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem, his critics came out of the woodwork.

“When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, ‘What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble — burned as they are?’ Tobiah the Ammonite, who was at his side, said, ‘What they are building — even a fox climbing up on it would break down their wall of stones!’” (Nehemiah 4:1–3).

These weren’t subtle grumblings under their breath. They were blatant criticisms meant to dissuade Nehemiah and the people of Jerusalem from completing the wall. But the Jews didn’t stop, doubling down on their efforts until the wall was finally finished.

What about you? What critiques are your critics lobbing onto your leadership and the ministry God has entrusted to you? More importantly, how are you responding? The right response will keep you focused, but the wrong response may undermine what God is doing in you and through you. Below are four ways to respond appropriately.

1. Consider the Source

The legitimacy of a critique is best determined by the source. Simply put, is the critique coming from somebody who is trustworthy? Furthermore, is the critique coming from someone who genuinely cares about your health and success.

Sanballat and Tobiah were neither trustworthy nor interested in Nehemiah’s success. Quite the opposite. They schemed to harm Nehemiah (6:2), were relentless in their efforts to distract him (6:3–4), told lies to him and about him (6:5–9), and repeatedly tried to intimidate him (6:10–14,19). Their critiques were born out of fear and intimidation rather than genuine care for Nehemiah’s desire to do good for the people and the city.

You will encounter criticism, but when it comes, consider the source. Disagreement doesn’t mean disloyalty. Simply ask, is the source credible and caring? Are they trustworthy people who genuinely want what’s best for you? If so, take time to listen.

2. Look for the Truth

There was no truth in the criticisms coming from Sanballat and Tobiah. Again, they lied to and about Nehemiah (6:5-9), and he had the discernment to know they were lying. However, that’s not always the case. Even in hard criticisms, sometimes there’s a kernel of truth.

Several years ago, I heard Carey Nieuwhof interview Scott Sauls, a pastor from Nashville, Tennessee, who once worked with author and pastor Tim Keller. During the interview, Scott Sauls shared a powerful response Keller had toward criticism.

Sauls said, “In a dozen false things said about him, [Keller] would search for a kernel of truth that he could repent of, because every opportunity for repentance is an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus.”

The right response will keep you focused, but the wrong response may undermine what God is doing in you and through you.

What a powerful practice. When Keller found the kernel of truth, he would humbly admit it and pray over it. Notice, Sauls didn’t say, “He searched for a kernel of truth he could agree with.” Truth sets us free, and Tim Keller was determined to embrace truth, even when it hurt.

How about you? Do you take time to mine for the kernel of truth in the criticisms that come your way? Not only will this practice help you find the truth, but it will keep you humble and pliable to the work of Jesus in your life.

3. Control Your Response

Nobody likes criticisms. In fact, do we not like it, but we often have a visceral response to criticism that’s equally critical. In fact, harsher criticism is often how we repay our critics.

In our culture today, our actions are important, but our reactions are equally important. When criticism comes, our knee jerk reaction is usually to get defensive. But you can’t search for truth if you’re swinging a sword. You must control your response. Why? Because your response does three things: it reveals, reinforces, and reproduces.

First, your response reveals your level of maturity. Calm demeanors are more mature than rash reactions.

Second, your response reinforces the truth. If somebody criticizes you for always being defensive, and then you respond in a defensive manner, the truth has been reinforced by your response.

Third, your response reproduces patterns of behavior. In other words, how you respond to criticism will make the situation better or worse. Simply put, your response will reproduce bad behavior or good behavior.

4. Protect Your Heart

The condition of a leader’s heart is paramount. Leadership is difficult and demanding, and if a leader doesn’t protect his or her heart, the fallout is destructive on multiple fronts.

Protecting your heart requires important spiritual habits such as prayer, worship, confession, and Bible study. It requires community, safe friends, coaching, and sometimes counseling. These are the practices that help you process your pain and remain spiritually and emotionally whole.

What’s the alternative? If you’re not proactive about protecting your heart, criticism will turn into cynicism. You’ll become bitter, untrusting, angry, and resentful. Is that really the kind of person you want to become? That’s the natural outcome if we don’t proactively protect our hearts.

Are you facing criticism right now? Do an honest assessment of how you are responding. Then, consider the source, look for the truth, control your response going forward, and protect your heart. It won’t be easy, but it’s the mature way to handle our critics.