In 1986, I was 21 years old and serving on staff at my home church, Calvary Temple in Irving, Texas. I was also taking 20 credit hours at Southwestern Assemblies of God University. My life was busy with work and school — certainly too busy for a serious relationship! 

Then, I met Cindy Crawford (not the supermodel; my Cindy is better looking). I knew before our first date that I was going to marry her. Unfortunately, Cindy needed some convincing. Suddenly, I discovered I had more than enough time for dating. I was willing to do whatever it took to “woo” Cindy. I couldn’t wait to spend time with her. It didn't matter what we were doing, as long as we were together. 

Does that sound familiar? When you first fell in love, your future spouse was your number one priority. Nothing mattered more than being together. You couldn’t wait for your next date.

Then, you got married. The demands of life and work pushed their way back in. There were bills to pay and careers to pursue and children to raise. Spending time together was no longer the top priority. Gradually you began to drift apart.

I’ve heard that same story far too many times. It’s too easy to focus on other things and neglect one of the most important things: your marriage. The solution? Even though you are married, keep dating. And I’m not just talking about an annual Valentine’s Day date.

Don’t wait for tension or a problem to schedule a date. Instead, view date night (or date day!) as a problem prevention strategy. Jesus was mainly talking about money when He said “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21), but it is also good marriage insight.

Investing meaningful time keeps your heart tender toward your spouse. And setting aside purposeful time sends a message: “You matter to me. I am setting aside work, projects and hobbies because you are my first priority. Nothing matters more to me than you. You have my heart.”

Life can be stressful! A regular date night lets you escape life’s pressures for a few hours. Don’t talk about bills or try to solve life’s biggest issues. Instead, just have fun being together. 

Date night is a wonderful time to dream together about the future. Dreaming isn’t just futile wishing, it can provide valuable direction for future decisions. Ask questions like:

• If we could do anything, anywhere, to serve God and make a difference, what would we do?
• What’s our dream vacation? (Start saving for it!)
• What do we want our children or grandchildren to remember about us?

Investing meaningful time keeps your heart tender toward your spouse.

Date night is also a great opportunity to reminisce about the past. Laugh at your favorite memories. Celebrate the struggles God has brought you through. Remember the people who and the places that have played a special part in your life. Memories are an anchor for your marriage that remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

You might be thinking, “We can’t afford a consistent or special date night!”

When I told Cindy I was writing this article, she offered this advice: “Sometimes, it’s intimidating to see the amazing Facebook posts and Instagram pictures of other couple’s extravagant dates. Don’t feel the need to compete! A date night doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Sit on the couch and watch a favorite TV show together. Take a walk with your dog. Spend a few hours web-searching for ideas on fixing up your extra bedroom. Enjoy hot chocolate chip cookies. The important thing isn’t what you do, it’s that you are doing it together.” 

If you’re looking for some other ideas, my book After the Honeymoon ends with 90 dates that cost less than $10. Lack of money is no excuse! 

Not sure you have time to date your spouse? You simply have misplaced priorities. Don’t neglect your marriage! First Corinthians 10:12 says, “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.” Take action today: Schedule a meal together, go for an early morning drive or pull up your calendars to pick a long weekend. 

This June, Cindy and I will celebrate our 30th anniversary. It’s been three decades since I convinced her to marry me, and we still look forward to our time together today. 

Every marriage inevitably establishes a routine, but you get to choose the habits that make up that routine. Let dating be one of them. 

This article originally appeared in Vital magazine and has been adapted with permission.