The choices you make will determine the life you live. That was drilled into me by every mentor I’ve ever had. I try to carry on the tradition by telling those whom I mentor today the same thing.

Sometimes making a choice seems more difficult and complex than it should be. Every time you try to decide, you have this gut feeling you’re not ready or you’re not sure which decision is the right one. So, your decision is to postpone making a decision until you have more time to think about it, more information, or better insight into what you hope to accomplish.

I call this “decision avoidance syndrome.” Please know this is not an actual medical diagnosis, and I’m not a therapist. But leading people can feel like therapy sometimes — and this is one of those times. When your desired outcome becomes avoiding the decision at hand, you have decision avoidance syndrome.

There are several possible reasons for decision avoidance:

• You fear the consequences of a particular decision.
• You don’t have enough information to make a decision.
• You don’t want to be accountable for a decision that might result in a not-so-ideal outcome.
• You are a decision avoidance ninja whose entire goal is to avoid making any significant decision.

The struggle is real. I get it. Some days I want to stop “adulting,” too. Life can get rough at times, and it can certainly be unforgiving. But a leader leans into outcomes and accountability rather than avoiding them. Every decision has a consequence.

If you’re going to lead yourself and others, get comfortable with the idea that sometimes you will make the right decision and sometimes you won’t. (The good news is most decisions aren’t fatal — even if it seems they are at the time.)

But I think there is a much more fundamental reason why leaders avoid decisions, and I believe this is the heart of the matter. It’s hard to choose anything without clarity regarding what you want and where you are headed. That sounds simple and trite, but it’s true.

It is hard to measure progress when you don’t have any intended outcome outlined. (And if your intended outcome is to drift through life avoiding the tough decisions, you’ll never experience the adventure that is right in front of you.)

Get comfortable with the idea that sometimes you will make the right decision and sometimes you won’t.

Lack of clarity creates friction when it comes to deciding on anything. You must know what you want to determine where you need to go or what you need to do next. And that means picking a direction and marching toward it until the battle is won and the war is over.

There are several ways to reduce the friction of making a decision.

Seek God’s wisdom and direction. He knows all things and cares about every decision you make.

Accept the reality that every choice brings with it some degree of friction. Decisions are catalysts that tease out and reveal whether what you say matches what you do.

Make regular time to plan. It’s the only way to have clarity regarding where you are, where you’re headed, and what it will take to get there. Whatever time you invest in this will be worth it.

Outline (on paper) what you want and when you want to achieve it. Those milestones will serve as focus points for you as you make the long journey of leadership.

Review your situation with a mentor. I would be remiss not to include this one. I can’t state enough how important it is for leaders to mentor and be mentored. You can’t do life or leadership alone. Period.

If you’re still stumped, pull out a blank sheet of paper and create a decision tree. Follow each possible decision to its logical end. I call this back of the napkin logic. It can be beneficial to see your thought process on paper. (Just make sure you grab a few extra napkins. It always seems to take more space than expected to finish the exercise.)

The Paradox of Decisions and Leadership

The paradox is you’ll find energy in your ability to choose and decide. Action creates momentum. There is a time to mull over an idea, and there is a time to act. When the time for action comes, go for it.

Don’t get caught up in the idea that you might make a decision from which you could never recover. Don’t allow fear to inhibit your ability to find clarity. Lean in to whatever change you want to see take place in your life, job, community or world.

Leadership isn’t all glitz and glamor. People are looking to you for guidance and direction. If you avoid choices, they will too. And that behavior will have significant ramifications on your ministry culture and your ability to achieve the outcomes you desire.

Err on the side of doing rather than on the side of avoiding. You’ll be a stronger leader, and the people around you will have more confidence in you.