There are few things more damaging to the church than when the leader has a moral failure. Unfortunately, it is an all-too common experience. If we aren’t purposeful in our decisions, we can become another tragic statistic that leaves many hurting in our wake.

The good news in all of this is that there are simple steps we can take to protect ourselves, our families and our congregations from infidelity. Unfortunately, I didn’t always put these practices into place, and my actions hurt many. As one who has failed, I can tell you the importance of consistently holding to the practices and boundaries that strengthen and safeguard marriages.

Below are four things I have learned to do.

Nourish your personal relationship with God. Although this sounds obvious for church leaders, there are many whose Bible study and prayer times revolve solely around sermon and small-group preparations. While these forms of study do edify, it is also important to spend times in personal devotion, seeking God for what He would speak to you personally, not just through you for others.

It can be tempting in seasons of discouragement, stagnant periods or stressful situations to look for fulfillment from others. This a dangerous space because it opens you to pursuing relationships with whomever makes you feel good in the moment. However, when God is your Source, and you remain connected to His truth, you will not look to others to fill your need for acceptance, respect or worth.

Invest time and energy in your relationship with your spouse. It can be easy to allow the work of the church and the needs of others to consume your schedule. If you throw the demands of parenting and/or a secondary career into the mix, time with your spouse can quickly fall to the wayside.

It is easy to justify the importance of meeting with a member in need, and it might even feel selfish to turn down a church-related meeting to spend time with your spouse. However, investing in your marriage is necessary for your health, your spouse’s health, and the health of the church.

The time you invest in ministry outside the home will have a negative return if your own marriage falls apart. Marriages require a consistent prioritization of time together to quiet the outside noise and constant distractions that can slowly pull a couple apart. It is a good idea to dedicate at least one night per week to spending time together as a couple or as a family. This leads to the next practice of guarding these precious times.

Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is vital to your ministry.

Set boundaries without exceptions. When our family blocked out one night a week for family fun night, we had to work hard to preserve it. It was easy to make exceptions for “just this week” until the tradition eventually ended altogether.

If you reserve Monday nights to be with your spouse, but there is an event you must attend because you have no other option (like open house at school), be sure to reschedule for a different night in the same week. It’s OK to be flexible, but you should do your best not to break the boundary you set to protect time together.

Time is not the only area we need to protect in order to guard our relationships. It is important to assess your areas of vulnerability, and create boundaries to protect yourself. Each couple needs to decide what boundaries are important to them, and then stick to those boundaries.

In our relationship, we don’t lock our phones from each other. Also, if I need to text a member of the opposite sex from church, I often make it a group text with my husband to keep the conversation transparent at all times. No one finds it strange since the content of the conversation is related to the workings of the church.

Neither of us meets or drives with anyone of the opposite sex unless there is a third party present. If we have to meet when someone else cannot be present, the meeting takes place in a public location rather than alone in the church office.

Some of our boundaries are inconvenient, and they may not be necessary or work for everyone. However, we know what works for us, and we would rather be inconvenienced than find ourselves in situations that have the potential to lead to the devastation of a moral failure and a broken marriage.

Make yourself accountable. It is foolish to pretend sexual sin is not a temptation. Subscribing to an internet service that monitors your activity and communicates possible red flags to a trusted confidant is simple wisdom.

God did not call us to work out our salvation in isolation. He has called us to community because “a person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, NLT). Finding accountability partners allows temptations to come to light where we can deal with them in a loving, supportive manner instead of leaving them to grow in the dark.

Maintaining a strong and healthy relationship is vital to your ministry. If your personal life falls apart, your ministry will closely follow. Take the time to invest where it counts most, even when it is inconvenient or difficult. The results will be a solid, flourishing partnership that strengthens the heart of your ministry.